Tag Archives: steve allen

Parodies

Planet Washington Breaking News: David Koch, Gov. Scott Walker Caught on Video

Koch brother David ‘Daddy Warbucks’ Koch caught on video!

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Google: What Have The Unions Ever Done For Us?

Many thanks to the Brothers Koch & Governor Scott (‘One of Us’) Walker for demonstrating why we the vast unwashed (not ‘one of them’) must tax the rich more and reverse the Citizens United decision.

‘Planet Washington’ is the registered trademark of a wicked funny musical political satire group “Planet Washington,” owned by Brighton Productions, LLC.  Contact us at our web site  www.planetwashington.com.

Funny Stuff Parody Think Piece

Apart from Workplace Safety, the 8-Hour Work Day, Minimum Wage, Vacation & Health Benefits, What Has The Union Ever Done For Us?

MONTY PYTHON PARODY: WHAT HAS THE UNION EVER DONE FOR US? CREATED A MIDDLE CLASS!

The Wisconsin Governor Walker’s now unmasked conspiracy with Billionaire David Koch et al to reject public employees’ concessions and destroy their union itself makes my shanty Irish blood boil.

My father was a member of the Boston Police Patrolmen’s Association and when he made Sergeant, Boston Police Superior Officers’ Association. His unions helped my family share in the American Dream and sent me to college – and law school – with a scholarship.

What Have The Unions Ever Done For Us? It reminds me of a classic Monty Python skit What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us? My little parody is dedicated to the public employees who teach our kids, staff our hospitals, maintain our streets, and keep us safe. Thank you!

WHAT HAVE THE UNIONS EVER DONE FOR US?
Governor Scott Walker (R-WI) as Pilate
Billionaire David Koch as Bigus Dickus

Bigus Dickus Koch: They’ve bled us white, the bastards. They’ve taken everything we had, our freedom, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers’ fathers.
Gov. Scotty: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: :Yes.
Gov. Scotty:: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: All right, Scotty. Don’t ‘labor’ the point. And what have they ever given us in return?
Aide: Child Labor Laws.
Bigus Koch: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That’s true.
Activist: And the 8-hour work day!
Scotty:: Oh yes… The 8-hour work day, Bigus, you remember what the city used to be like.
Bigus Koch:: All right, I’ll grant you that Child Labor Laws and the 8-Hour Work Day are two things that the Unions have done…
Aide: And Workplace Safety…

Bigus: (sharply) Well yes obviously the Workplace Safety… Workplace Safety goes without saying. But apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, and Workplace Safety…
Another Activist: Paid Vacation…
Other Voices: The Minimum Wage…Health Benefits…Educational loans…Maternity/Family Medical Leave…Social Security…Medicare..the GI Bill….
Bigus: Yes… all right, fair enough…
Activist Near Front: And Civil Rights…
Omnes: Oh yes! True!
Scotty: Yeah. That’s something we’d really miss if the Unions left, Bigus..
Activist at Back: Disability pay!
Aide:: And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now.
Gov Scotty: Yes, our public employees certainly know how to keep order… (general nodding)… let’s face it, they’re the only ones who could in a place like this.

(more general murmurs of agreement)
Bigus Koch: All right… all right… but apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, Workplace Safety, Paid Vacations, The Minimum Wage, Health Benefits, Educational loans, Maternity/Family Medical Leave, the GI Bill, Social Security, Medicare, Civil Rights, Disability Pay, and public order… what have the Unions done for us?

Ed Schultz: Created a Middle Class.

Small Voice: …when the rest of the world suffered revolution, communism, or socialism…

Bigus: (very angry, he’s not having a good meeting at all)
What!? Oh…(scornfully) a Middle Class, yes… shut up!

scene

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
– George Santayana, Boston Latin School Class of 1878
Those who cannot remember the past…make up a solid majority.
-Ken Rynne, Class of ’74

Ken Rynne
www.PlanetWashington.com
when news breaks, we fix it

wicked musical political satire
almost famous since 2006


Parodies

Apart from Workplace Safety, the 8-Hour Work Day, Minimum Wage, Vacation & Health Benefits, What Has The Union Ever Done For Us?

MONTY PYTHON PARODY: WHAT HAS THE UNION EVER DONE FOR US? CREATED A MIDDLE CLASS!

The Wisconsin Governor Walker’s now unmasked conspiracy with Billionaire David Koch et al to reject public employees’ concessions and destroy their union itself makes my shanty Irish blood boil.

My father was a member of the Boston Police Patrolmen’s Association and when he made Sergeant, Boston Police Superior Officers’ Association. His unions helped my family share in the American Dream and sent me to college – and law school – with a scholarship.

What Have The Unions Ever Done For Us? It reminds me of a classic Monty Python skit What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us? My little parody is dedicated to the public employees who teach our kids, staff our hospitals, maintain our streets, and keep us safe. Thank you!

WHAT HAVE THE UNIONS EVER DONE FOR US?
Governor Scott Walker (R-WI) as Pilate
Billionaire David Koch as Bigus Dickus

Bigus Dickus Koch: They’ve bled us white, the bastards. They’ve taken everything we had, our freedom, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers’ fathers.
Gov. Scotty: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: :Yes.
Gov. Scotty:: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: All right, Scotty. Don’t ‘labor’ the point. And what have they ever given us in return?
Aide: Child Labor Laws.
Bigus Koch: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That’s true.
Activist: And the 8-hour work day!
Scotty:: Oh yes… The 8-hour work day, Bigus, you remember what the city used to be like.
Bigus Koch:: All right, I’ll grant you that Child Labor Laws and the 8-Hour Work Day are two things that the Unions have done…
Aide: And Workplace Safety…

Bigus: (sharply) Well yes obviously the Workplace Safety… Workplace Safety goes without saying. But apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, and Workplace Safety…
Another Activist: Paid Vacation…
Other Voices: The Minimum Wage…Health Benefits…Educational loans…Maternity/Family Medical Leave…Social Security…Medicare..the GI Bill….
Bigus: Yes… all right, fair enough…
Activist Near Front: And Civil Rights…
Omnes: Oh yes! True!
Scotty: Yeah. That’s something we’d really miss if the Unions left, Bigus..
Activist at Back: Disability pay!
Aide:: And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now.
Gov Scotty: Yes, our public employees certainly know how to keep order… (general nodding)… let’s face it, they’re the only ones who could in a place like this.

(more general murmurs of agreement)
Bigus Koch: All right… all right… but apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, Workplace Safety, Paid Vacations, The Minimum Wage, Health Benefits, Educational loans, Maternity/Family Medical Leave, the GI Bill, Social Security, Medicare, Civil Rights, Disability Pay, and public order… what have the Unions done for us?

Ed Schultz: Created a Middle Class.

Small Voice: …when the rest of the world suffered revolution, communism, or socialism…

Bigus: (very angry, he’s not having a good meeting at all)
What!? Oh…(scornfully) a Middle Class, yes… shut up!

scene

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
– George Santayana, Boston Latin School Class of 1878
Those who cannot remember the past…make up a solid majority.
-Ken Rynne, Class of ’74

Ken Rynne
www.PlanetWashington.com
when news breaks, we fix it

wicked musical political satire
almost famous since 2006


Parodies

There's Snow Business Like Slow Business!

A 2″ snowfall paralyzes the nation’s capital city : For some, it’s another reason to just say “slow.”

Let it Snow

Oh the Democrats’ time is dwindling,
And their bills we’ll use as kindling,
Legislation we’ll take real slow,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

Bush Tax Breaks They’ve Failed at Stopping,
And their START vote will be flopping.
Filibuster Don’t Ask, I know,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.

When we finally do adjourn,
For a two-week Christmas at home,
Harry Reid says he might call us back,
But he’ll find out I’ve turned off my phone!

The Democratic fire’s slowly dying,
And it’s time for their good-bying,
But as long as we just say “no!”
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

[If Senate Democrats learn to say “no”
Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!]

Funny Stuff Parody Think Piece

There’s Snow Business Like Slow Business!

A 2″ snowfall paralyzes the nation’s capital city : For some, it’s another reason to just say “slow.”

Let it Snow

Oh the Democrats’ time is dwindling,
And their bills we’ll use as kindling,
Legislation we’ll take real slow,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

Bush Tax Breaks They’ve Failed at Stopping,
And their START vote will be flopping.
Filibuster Don’t Ask, I know,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.

When we finally do adjourn,
For a two-week Christmas at home,
Harry Reid says he might call us back,
But he’ll find out I’ve turned off my phone!

The Democratic fire’s slowly dying,
And it’s time for their good-bying,
But as long as we just say “no!”
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

[If Senate Democrats learn to say “no”
Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!]

Parodies

President, Republican Congressional Leaders Meet At Last and Plan to: Meet Again!

The long-awaited meeting between The President and Congressional Republicans was finally held with agreement all around that the parties should…meet again!  Taxes? GOP united and uniformly against them.  Unemployment Insurance?  Not yet.  Jobs?  None discussed, except for meeting planners apparently.

Rave Reviews

Roll Call Lauds Roast of Eleanor Holmes Norton!

Last Night’s Toast & Roast of DC Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton featuring The Hexagoners with Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne (as ‘Congressman Bud Noir’) received a very good review today in Roll Call, the Newspaper of Capitol Hill.

Del. Norton has been a tremendous supporter of Hexagon and The Hexagoners – DC’s oldest original annual musical satirical review for charity.  Hexagon was named Washingtonian of the Year by Washingtonian Magazine, the first time such an organization was so honored, in light of its 50-plus year commitment raising millions for local charities through its annual reviews where Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne, Tom Lehrer, Joan Cushing (Mrs Foggybottom) among many others , came out of their shells to write and pound the theatrical boards.

For the roast, Ken Rynne adapted his ‘Bud Noir, Member of Congress” character – an homage to Garrison Keillor’s “Guy Noir, Private Eye,”  in which “Bud” meet Sarah Palin (MJ Bruno) on  a dark and stormy night on Capitol Hill.  Bud observes Sarah by the street light’s last gleaming – her hair is “the color of midnight in the garden of good and the opposite of good — incumbent.”   Hair as long as “a line of Fenty voters — in Ward 2.”  And he notes that Sarah picks her words with all the precision of  a Michelle Rhee School Budget – deficit?  Layoffs!  O, Surplus?  Yo, Adrian!”  Finally, Bud retires to his “luxury condo overlooking the future site of DC’s very own WalMart — can Statehood be far behind?” (Bud Noir Video is available at wwwPlanetWashington.com and YouTube)

nt.”

Del. Norton annually participates in skits on Congress night and – after careful lawyerly review of all the materials, reads “newsbreaks” with grace and aplomb to the delight of her constituents and helps raise funds for many worthy causes.

Last night she was her gracious self as she accepted plaudits and good natured barbs from the cast and local pols.

Morella, Davis Throw Zingers at Norton Roast

By Gabe Starosta
Roll Call Staff

Oct. 21, 2010, 12:03 p.m.

On Wednesday night, Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton was, for once, the center of attention.

The Washington, D.C., Democrat played the dual roles of honoree and lightning rod for jokes at an event Wednesday night at the U.S. Navy Memorial titled “Roasting and Toasting Miss Eleanor,” a comedy show put on by Hexagon, the popular D.C. theater troupe that specializes in political satire.

The event featured original skits and songs by Hexagon, as well as speeches from several well-known District figures, such as former Reps. Tom Davis (R-Va.) and Connie Morella (R-Md.), D.C. Councilman Jack Evans and others.

Norton, sitting front and center, was a good sport throughout the night. And, as she admits, she’s had some practice being the brunt of jokes, many of them focused on the District’s lack of voting rights in Congress.

“How [Hexagon] got this idea to roast Eleanor is beyond me, but when you consider that I have taken a lot of roasting on the Colbert Report, I’ve been used to it,” Norton said in an interview before the show. Norton has a long-standing relationship with Hexagon: She has performed in several scripted skits with the organization during its annual Congress Night show.

Norton was far from the only target for jokes. The national media received its share of the satire, and tea party activists, former Gov. Sarah Palin (R-Alaska) and other GOP leaders were frequent sources of laughter.

One of the highlights of the night was a skit titled “Holmesless in D.C.,” in which a John Boehner look-alike — sporting the Ohio Republican’s signature dark suit and orange tie — recounted a dream about a world in which Norton was never born. Without her to defend the District in Congress, Washington turns Republican: the Chinatown Metro stop is renamed Gallery Place/Cheneytown, after the former vice president, and all taxes are abolished so that D.C. license plates now read simply, “Without Representation.”

In a change that would break liberal hearts, the city’s airport is renamed after both Ronald Reagan and former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. And in the coup de grace, Ben’s Chili Bowl — the famous black-owned restaurant on U Street — is recast as Strom’s Oatmeal Bowl, a nod to Strom Thurmond, the former Republican South Carolina Senator and onetime segregation advocate.

Perhaps the night’s funniest presenter was a Republican. Davis, who worked closely with Norton on D.C. issues during his tenure in Congress, nearly stole the show with his comedy routine. Like every presenter, Davis praised Norton for her tireless work on behalf of Washington’s voting rights and revitalization efforts, but he snuck in zinger after zinger about his former Capitol Hill colleague.

“She projects an image of good will — her blouse, her skirt, her shoes, they’re all from Goodwill,” Davis cracked. And as he exited the stage at the end of his set, Davis grabbed the mic and said, “I’ve got to run to a tea party.”

The wisecracks were plentiful, but so were the kind words. Evans spoke about their work reviving Washington since they were elected to their respective positions in 1991, and Hexagon’s opening and closing numbers professed admiration for Norton.

The roastee took the mic briefly at the end of the performance to thank — or not thank — those who had spoken earlier in the evening.

“Everyone knows I have to take it in Congress for the District, but I never thought I’d have to take it from Hexagon,” said a smiling Norton.

Parodies

33 Chilean Gold Miners Rescued! Crowds Amazed as 34th Emerges – bin Laden! DC's Golddiggers the Salahis Join Welcoming Crowd

The world rejoiced as 33 miners trapped over a mile underground in a Chilean gold mine for 69 days – longer than anyone has survived below ground – emerged one-by-one to be greeted by weeping children, wives, fellow workers, The President and First Lady of Chile, their mistresses, known and unknown, media crews from everywhere including North Korea, al Jazeera, and DC’s peripatetic partiers and media hounds The Salahis.

Crowds were astonished to find – after the 33 miners emerged – that the winch signifying that the rescue pod Phoenix II started again its slow and steady pace – and out popped a 34th miner – Osama bin Laden with a new audio tape, ‘Goldladen.’

Reality TV worth watching — much better than the failed BP Spill in the US last season.

Oakley sunglasses won a product placement award for having each miner don its product as they emerged.

George W Bush won the Where’s Waldo award as he greeted the miners with a warm “Mission Accomplished” and a back slap, for confusing the Chilean flag for that of his adopted state of Texas )as any Texan will tell you, he was born in New Haven, CT).

Lou Dobbs was runner-up for welcoming the 33 back to work on his horse farm greeting each with a “Mi yama es Luis” in his rich baritone.

Media outlets filled the hours between rescues with innane commentary on US mine disasters. Consistent with American news outlets, which specialize in political horse races and eschew issues, like how to reemploy millions out of work, nothing was learned bout Chile, its people, its history, American relations with, or the fact that it produces 55% of the world’s copper, or other facts about the nation or continent. But viewers of MSNBSC did get to hear quite a bit from two guys who spent 3 days underground once – Lawrence O’Donnell preferred to count the time in hours – 72 – although the count in minutes and seconds I am told is even more impressive. “Yeah, Lawrence, we got out, went home, took a shower, and went to bed.” “Did a little minin’ with the missus if you catch ma’ drift.” All I can say is, “thank you for that authentic frontier gibberish”. -Mel Brooks. GOP Ad makers in W VA were looking for these guests to star in their next attack ad.

There has not been such excitement about trapped minors since Roman Polanski’s pool party! (rim-shot!)
Good night everybody!

Reality TV worth watching.

We’ll be at Harriet’s in DC, Friday Night 8:30

Funny Stuff

33 Chilean Gold Miners Rescued! Crowds Amazed as 34th Emerges – bin Laden! DC’s Golddiggers the Salahis Join Welcoming Crowd

The world rejoiced as 33 miners trapped over a mile underground in a Chilean gold mine for 69 days – longer than anyone has survived below ground – emerged one-by-one to be greeted by weeping children, wives, fellow workers, The President and First Lady of Chile, their mistresses, known and unknown, media crews from everywhere including North Korea, al Jazeera, and DC’s peripatetic partiers and media hounds The Salahis.

Crowds were astonished to find – after the 33 miners emerged – that the winch signifying that the rescue pod Phoenix II started again its slow and steady pace – and out popped a 34th miner – Osama bin Laden with a new audio tape, ‘Goldladen.’

Reality TV worth watching — much better than the failed BP Spill in the US last season.

Oakley sunglasses won a product placement award for having each miner don its product as they emerged.

George W Bush won the Where’s Waldo award as he greeted the miners with a warm “Mission Accomplished” and a back slap, for confusing the Chilean flag for that of his adopted state of Texas )as any Texan will tell you, he was born in New Haven, CT).

Lou Dobbs was runner-up for welcoming the 33 back to work on his horse farm greeting each with a “Mi yama es Luis” in his rich baritone.

Media outlets filled the hours between rescues with innane commentary on US mine disasters. Consistent with American news outlets, which specialize in political horse races and eschew issues, like how to reemploy millions out of work, nothing was learned bout Chile, its people, its history, American relations with, or the fact that it produces 55% of the world’s copper, or other facts about the nation or continent. But viewers of MSNBSC did get to hear quite a bit from two guys who spent 3 days underground once – Lawrence O’Donnell preferred to count the time in hours – 72 – although the count in minutes and seconds I am told is even more impressive. “Yeah, Lawrence, we got out, went home, took a shower, and went to bed.” “Did a little minin’ with the missus if you catch ma’ drift.” All I can say is, “thank you for that authentic frontier gibberish”. -Mel Brooks. GOP Ad makers in W VA were looking for these guests to star in their next attack ad.

There has not been such excitement about trapped minors since Roman Polanski’s pool party! (rim-shot!)
Good night everybody!

Reality TV worth watching.

We’ll be at Harriet’s in DC, Friday Night 8:30

Parodies

SNL, PW Feature Dr Palin and MiniMe O'Donnell — MiniMe! Stop Dabbling in Frickin Witchcraft!

Mini Me! Stop Dabbling in Frickin Witchcraft!

Dr. Palin: Mike (R-DE), you had your chance, okay? I’ve already had someone created in my image. She’s evil, she wants to take over the world, and she fits easily into most overhead storage bins.

Mike (R-DE): Her? Look at her, she’s crazy. She’s like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. She’ll kill me the first chance she gets.

Dr. Palin: Probably.

You saw it here first 9/24/10