Tag Archives: speakers bureau

Funny Stuff Parody Think Piece

Apart from Workplace Safety, the 8-Hour Work Day, Minimum Wage, Vacation & Health Benefits, What Has The Union Ever Done For Us?

MONTY PYTHON PARODY: WHAT HAS THE UNION EVER DONE FOR US? CREATED A MIDDLE CLASS!

The Wisconsin Governor Walker’s now unmasked conspiracy with Billionaire David Koch et al to reject public employees’ concessions and destroy their union itself makes my shanty Irish blood boil.

My father was a member of the Boston Police Patrolmen’s Association and when he made Sergeant, Boston Police Superior Officers’ Association. His unions helped my family share in the American Dream and sent me to college – and law school – with a scholarship.

What Have The Unions Ever Done For Us? It reminds me of a classic Monty Python skit What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us? My little parody is dedicated to the public employees who teach our kids, staff our hospitals, maintain our streets, and keep us safe. Thank you!

WHAT HAVE THE UNIONS EVER DONE FOR US?
Governor Scott Walker (R-WI) as Pilate
Billionaire David Koch as Bigus Dickus

Bigus Dickus Koch: They’ve bled us white, the bastards. They’ve taken everything we had, our freedom, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers’ fathers.
Gov. Scotty: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: :Yes.
Gov. Scotty:: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: All right, Scotty. Don’t ‘labor’ the point. And what have they ever given us in return?
Aide: Child Labor Laws.
Bigus Koch: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That’s true.
Activist: And the 8-hour work day!
Scotty:: Oh yes… The 8-hour work day, Bigus, you remember what the city used to be like.
Bigus Koch:: All right, I’ll grant you that Child Labor Laws and the 8-Hour Work Day are two things that the Unions have done…
Aide: And Workplace Safety…

Bigus: (sharply) Well yes obviously the Workplace Safety… Workplace Safety goes without saying. But apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, and Workplace Safety…
Another Activist: Paid Vacation…
Other Voices: The Minimum Wage…Health Benefits…Educational loans…Maternity/Family Medical Leave…Social Security…Medicare..the GI Bill….
Bigus: Yes… all right, fair enough…
Activist Near Front: And Civil Rights…
Omnes: Oh yes! True!
Scotty: Yeah. That’s something we’d really miss if the Unions left, Bigus..
Activist at Back: Disability pay!
Aide:: And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now.
Gov Scotty: Yes, our public employees certainly know how to keep order… (general nodding)… let’s face it, they’re the only ones who could in a place like this.

(more general murmurs of agreement)
Bigus Koch: All right… all right… but apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, Workplace Safety, Paid Vacations, The Minimum Wage, Health Benefits, Educational loans, Maternity/Family Medical Leave, the GI Bill, Social Security, Medicare, Civil Rights, Disability Pay, and public order… what have the Unions done for us?

Ed Schultz: Created a Middle Class.

Small Voice: …when the rest of the world suffered revolution, communism, or socialism…

Bigus: (very angry, he’s not having a good meeting at all)
What!? Oh…(scornfully) a Middle Class, yes… shut up!

scene

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
– George Santayana, Boston Latin School Class of 1878
Those who cannot remember the past…make up a solid majority.
-Ken Rynne, Class of ’74

Ken Rynne
www.PlanetWashington.com
when news breaks, we fix it

wicked musical political satire
almost famous since 2006


Parodies

Apart from Workplace Safety, the 8-Hour Work Day, Minimum Wage, Vacation & Health Benefits, What Has The Union Ever Done For Us?

MONTY PYTHON PARODY: WHAT HAS THE UNION EVER DONE FOR US? CREATED A MIDDLE CLASS!

The Wisconsin Governor Walker’s now unmasked conspiracy with Billionaire David Koch et al to reject public employees’ concessions and destroy their union itself makes my shanty Irish blood boil.

My father was a member of the Boston Police Patrolmen’s Association and when he made Sergeant, Boston Police Superior Officers’ Association. His unions helped my family share in the American Dream and sent me to college – and law school – with a scholarship.

What Have The Unions Ever Done For Us? It reminds me of a classic Monty Python skit What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us? My little parody is dedicated to the public employees who teach our kids, staff our hospitals, maintain our streets, and keep us safe. Thank you!

WHAT HAVE THE UNIONS EVER DONE FOR US?
Governor Scott Walker (R-WI) as Pilate
Billionaire David Koch as Bigus Dickus

Bigus Dickus Koch: They’ve bled us white, the bastards. They’ve taken everything we had, our freedom, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers’ fathers.
Gov. Scotty: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: :Yes.
Gov. Scotty:: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: All right, Scotty. Don’t ‘labor’ the point. And what have they ever given us in return?
Aide: Child Labor Laws.
Bigus Koch: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That’s true.
Activist: And the 8-hour work day!
Scotty:: Oh yes… The 8-hour work day, Bigus, you remember what the city used to be like.
Bigus Koch:: All right, I’ll grant you that Child Labor Laws and the 8-Hour Work Day are two things that the Unions have done…
Aide: And Workplace Safety…

Bigus: (sharply) Well yes obviously the Workplace Safety… Workplace Safety goes without saying. But apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, and Workplace Safety…
Another Activist: Paid Vacation…
Other Voices: The Minimum Wage…Health Benefits…Educational loans…Maternity/Family Medical Leave…Social Security…Medicare..the GI Bill….
Bigus: Yes… all right, fair enough…
Activist Near Front: And Civil Rights…
Omnes: Oh yes! True!
Scotty: Yeah. That’s something we’d really miss if the Unions left, Bigus..
Activist at Back: Disability pay!
Aide:: And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now.
Gov Scotty: Yes, our public employees certainly know how to keep order… (general nodding)… let’s face it, they’re the only ones who could in a place like this.

(more general murmurs of agreement)
Bigus Koch: All right… all right… but apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, Workplace Safety, Paid Vacations, The Minimum Wage, Health Benefits, Educational loans, Maternity/Family Medical Leave, the GI Bill, Social Security, Medicare, Civil Rights, Disability Pay, and public order… what have the Unions done for us?

Ed Schultz: Created a Middle Class.

Small Voice: …when the rest of the world suffered revolution, communism, or socialism…

Bigus: (very angry, he’s not having a good meeting at all)
What!? Oh…(scornfully) a Middle Class, yes… shut up!

scene

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
– George Santayana, Boston Latin School Class of 1878
Those who cannot remember the past…make up a solid majority.
-Ken Rynne, Class of ’74

Ken Rynne
www.PlanetWashington.com
when news breaks, we fix it

wicked musical political satire
almost famous since 2006


Parodies

Presidential Approval Ratings

At this point in his first term Ronald Reagan’s approval rating was at 34%. Obama is at 55%…but Mubarak was at a very healthy 110%.

Funny Stuff Parody Think Piece

There’s Snow Business Like Slow Business!

A 2″ snowfall paralyzes the nation’s capital city : For some, it’s another reason to just say “slow.”

Let it Snow

Oh the Democrats’ time is dwindling,
And their bills we’ll use as kindling,
Legislation we’ll take real slow,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

Bush Tax Breaks They’ve Failed at Stopping,
And their START vote will be flopping.
Filibuster Don’t Ask, I know,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.

When we finally do adjourn,
For a two-week Christmas at home,
Harry Reid says he might call us back,
But he’ll find out I’ve turned off my phone!

The Democratic fire’s slowly dying,
And it’s time for their good-bying,
But as long as we just say “no!”
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

[If Senate Democrats learn to say “no”
Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!]

Parodies

There's Snow Business Like Slow Business!

A 2″ snowfall paralyzes the nation’s capital city : For some, it’s another reason to just say “slow.”

Let it Snow

Oh the Democrats’ time is dwindling,
And their bills we’ll use as kindling,
Legislation we’ll take real slow,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

Bush Tax Breaks They’ve Failed at Stopping,
And their START vote will be flopping.
Filibuster Don’t Ask, I know,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.

When we finally do adjourn,
For a two-week Christmas at home,
Harry Reid says he might call us back,
But he’ll find out I’ve turned off my phone!

The Democratic fire’s slowly dying,
And it’s time for their good-bying,
But as long as we just say “no!”
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

[If Senate Democrats learn to say “no”
Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!]

Upcoming Shows

DC Comedy: After the Rally/March, Laugh at ‘Planet Washington’

DC will play host to three ‘must-see’ events this Saturday 10.30.10.  Mid-day, Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart will host the (1) RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY and Stephen Colbert will lead the (2) MARCH TO KEEP FEAR ALIVE.  

After sundown, Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne will host the (3) RALLY TO RESTORE POLITICAL SATIRE.

The 9 PM RALLY TO PRESERVE POLITICAL SATIRE will feature edgy wicked funny musical political satire by  ‘PLANET WASHINGTON” – a former Capitol Step and ‘recovering” Hill staffer Ken Rynne and his faithful piano accompanist and political agnostic Frank Plumer.  

WHERE:  HARRIET’S RESTAURANT, in the Hotel Harrington, 436 11th Street, NW, DC 20004.  Corner of 11th and E Streets, NW , diagonally across from The E Street Theater.  

WHEN:  9:00 PM. TIL @ 10:30 PM

COVER: $15 at the door, $10 if in Halloween Costume,

$10 in advance by PayPal.com (kenrynne@aol.com) or 202 360 5056.

Appearances

DC Comedy: After the Rally/March, Laugh at ‘Planet Washington’

DC will play host to three ‘must-see’ events this Saturday 10.30.10.  Mid-day, Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart will host the (1) RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY and Stephen Colbert will lead the (2) MARCH TO KEEP FEAR ALIVE.

After sundown, Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne will host the (3) RALLY TO RESTORE POLITICAL SATIRE.

The 9 PM RALLY TO PRESERVE POLITICAL SATIRE will feature edgy wicked funny musical political satire by  ‘PLANET WASHINGTON” – a former Capitol Step and ‘recovering” Hill staffer Ken Rynne and his faithful piano accompanist and political agnostic Frank Plumer.

Parodies

33 Chilean Gold Miners Rescued! Crowds Amazed as 34th Emerges – bin Laden! DC's Golddiggers the Salahis Join Welcoming Crowd

The world rejoiced as 33 miners trapped over a mile underground in a Chilean gold mine for 69 days – longer than anyone has survived below ground – emerged one-by-one to be greeted by weeping children, wives, fellow workers, The President and First Lady of Chile, their mistresses, known and unknown, media crews from everywhere including North Korea, al Jazeera, and DC’s peripatetic partiers and media hounds The Salahis.

Crowds were astonished to find – after the 33 miners emerged – that the winch signifying that the rescue pod Phoenix II started again its slow and steady pace – and out popped a 34th miner – Osama bin Laden with a new audio tape, ‘Goldladen.’

Reality TV worth watching — much better than the failed BP Spill in the US last season.

Oakley sunglasses won a product placement award for having each miner don its product as they emerged.

George W Bush won the Where’s Waldo award as he greeted the miners with a warm “Mission Accomplished” and a back slap, for confusing the Chilean flag for that of his adopted state of Texas )as any Texan will tell you, he was born in New Haven, CT).

Lou Dobbs was runner-up for welcoming the 33 back to work on his horse farm greeting each with a “Mi yama es Luis” in his rich baritone.

Media outlets filled the hours between rescues with innane commentary on US mine disasters. Consistent with American news outlets, which specialize in political horse races and eschew issues, like how to reemploy millions out of work, nothing was learned bout Chile, its people, its history, American relations with, or the fact that it produces 55% of the world’s copper, or other facts about the nation or continent. But viewers of MSNBSC did get to hear quite a bit from two guys who spent 3 days underground once – Lawrence O’Donnell preferred to count the time in hours – 72 – although the count in minutes and seconds I am told is even more impressive. “Yeah, Lawrence, we got out, went home, took a shower, and went to bed.” “Did a little minin’ with the missus if you catch ma’ drift.” All I can say is, “thank you for that authentic frontier gibberish”. -Mel Brooks. GOP Ad makers in W VA were looking for these guests to star in their next attack ad.

There has not been such excitement about trapped minors since Roman Polanski’s pool party! (rim-shot!)
Good night everybody!

Reality TV worth watching.

We’ll be at Harriet’s in DC, Friday Night 8:30

Funny Stuff

33 Chilean Gold Miners Rescued! Crowds Amazed as 34th Emerges – bin Laden! DC’s Golddiggers the Salahis Join Welcoming Crowd

The world rejoiced as 33 miners trapped over a mile underground in a Chilean gold mine for 69 days – longer than anyone has survived below ground – emerged one-by-one to be greeted by weeping children, wives, fellow workers, The President and First Lady of Chile, their mistresses, known and unknown, media crews from everywhere including North Korea, al Jazeera, and DC’s peripatetic partiers and media hounds The Salahis.

Crowds were astonished to find – after the 33 miners emerged – that the winch signifying that the rescue pod Phoenix II started again its slow and steady pace – and out popped a 34th miner – Osama bin Laden with a new audio tape, ‘Goldladen.’

Reality TV worth watching — much better than the failed BP Spill in the US last season.

Oakley sunglasses won a product placement award for having each miner don its product as they emerged.

George W Bush won the Where’s Waldo award as he greeted the miners with a warm “Mission Accomplished” and a back slap, for confusing the Chilean flag for that of his adopted state of Texas )as any Texan will tell you, he was born in New Haven, CT).

Lou Dobbs was runner-up for welcoming the 33 back to work on his horse farm greeting each with a “Mi yama es Luis” in his rich baritone.

Media outlets filled the hours between rescues with innane commentary on US mine disasters. Consistent with American news outlets, which specialize in political horse races and eschew issues, like how to reemploy millions out of work, nothing was learned bout Chile, its people, its history, American relations with, or the fact that it produces 55% of the world’s copper, or other facts about the nation or continent. But viewers of MSNBSC did get to hear quite a bit from two guys who spent 3 days underground once – Lawrence O’Donnell preferred to count the time in hours – 72 – although the count in minutes and seconds I am told is even more impressive. “Yeah, Lawrence, we got out, went home, took a shower, and went to bed.” “Did a little minin’ with the missus if you catch ma’ drift.” All I can say is, “thank you for that authentic frontier gibberish”. -Mel Brooks. GOP Ad makers in W VA were looking for these guests to star in their next attack ad.

There has not been such excitement about trapped minors since Roman Polanski’s pool party! (rim-shot!)
Good night everybody!

Reality TV worth watching.

We’ll be at Harriet’s in DC, Friday Night 8:30

Appearances Congressman Bud Noir

Hexagon Foundation, Planet Washington's Ken Rynne To Roast Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-DC)

The Friends of Hexagon Foundation’s Darrell Capwell announces that Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne will join in The Foundation’s “Roast & Toast” of DC Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton on October 22, 2010 at the US Navy Memorial in DC.

For the occasion, Ken will reprise his role as “Bud Noir, Member of Congress,” Washington, DC’s answer to Garrison Keillor & Minnesota Public Radio’s Guy Noir, Private Eye. In the past, “Bud” has sparred on stage with New York Times Columnist “Maureen Dowd” and former Governor “Sarah Palin.”

We look forward to Ken’s “tribute” to DC’s legendary delegate, Ms. Norton, a staunch Hexagon supporter, a frequent “Newsbreak” guest, who is painfully shy so Ken will ask her to open up for once to see if she has an opinion about the issue of “DC Statehood.”