Tag Archives: Parodies


Government Divided, Dysfunctional, BUT Musical

(Washington, DC) President Obama recently expressed frustration at the lack of a deficit reduction agreement to raise the Federal debt ceiling. People voted for divided government, not a ‘dysfunctional’ one, he vented. Five years ago Sen. Susan Collins (R- ME), an obvious Cole Porter fan, summarized FEMA’s performance in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in three words: “it’s discredited, it’s demoralized, it’s dysfunctional.” We set her report to music then but now we think Collins was too narrow in her indictment.

We, uh, recycle our song now in light of the President’s comment.

It’s Dysfunctional © 2011 Ken Rynne Parody of It’s De-Lovely By Cole Porter

I feel the sudden urge to sing/ About this FEDERAL DEBT LIMIT thing, So control your desire to curse/ While I satirize a verse. This THREE RING CIRCUS seems to me/ Not worthy of Cole Porter’s melody, So to spare you all the pain,/ I’ll skip the darn thing and sing the refrain.

Mi, mi, mi, mi, Re, re, re, re,/ Do, sol, T – PAR- T,  S.O.S.

The bills are due, the coffers cleared, /But still NO DEAL comes from CONGRESS dear, “it’s discredited, it’s demoralized, it’s dysfunctional.”

I understand the reason why/ You’re BUYING GOLD BARS now, so am I, “it’s discredited, it’s demoralized, it’s dysfunctional.”

*You can tell at a glance/ Time’s done /for TEXTING/YOUR UNDERPANTS, You can hear John Q /Pu-blic/ murmuring low,/ “These guys gotta go!”

So please VETO, Obama dear,/ When unfunded tax cuts [or spending] come, let us hear: It’s delinquent, It’s defective, / It’s department-ized, It’s dehumanized, it’s discredited, it’s demoralized, it’s dysfunctional.

Time marches on and soon it’s plain /Some in Congress have no heart, and sit on their brain. It’s discredited, it’s demoralized, it’s dysfunctional.

You can tell at a glance/ Time’s done /for TEXTING/YOUR UNDERPANTS,  You can hear John Q /Pu-blic/ murmuring low,/ “These guys gotta go!”

So please VETO, Obama dear,/ When unfunded spending [or tax cuts] comes, let us hear: It’s delinquent, It’s defective, / It’s department-ized, It’s dehumanized, it’s discredited, it’s demoralized, it’s dysfunctional.

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Planet Washington Breaking News: David Koch, Gov. Scott Walker Caught on Video

Koch brother David ‘Daddy Warbucks’ Koch caught on video!

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Google: What Have The Unions Ever Done For Us?

Many thanks to the Brothers Koch & Governor Scott (‘One of Us’) Walker for demonstrating why we the vast unwashed (not ‘one of them’) must tax the rich more and reverse the Citizens United decision.

‘Planet Washington’ is the registered trademark of a wicked funny musical political satire group “Planet Washington,” owned by Brighton Productions, LLC.  Contact us at our web site  www.planetwashington.com.


Apart from Workplace Safety, the 8-Hour Work Day, Minimum Wage, Vacation & Health Benefits, What Has The Union Ever Done For Us?


The Wisconsin Governor Walker’s now unmasked conspiracy with Billionaire David Koch et al to reject public employees’ concessions and destroy their union itself makes my shanty Irish blood boil.

My father was a member of the Boston Police Patrolmen’s Association and when he made Sergeant, Boston Police Superior Officers’ Association. His unions helped my family share in the American Dream and sent me to college – and law school – with a scholarship.

What Have The Unions Ever Done For Us? It reminds me of a classic Monty Python skit What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us? My little parody is dedicated to the public employees who teach our kids, staff our hospitals, maintain our streets, and keep us safe. Thank you!

Governor Scott Walker (R-WI) as Pilate
Billionaire David Koch as Bigus Dickus

Bigus Dickus Koch: They’ve bled us white, the bastards. They’ve taken everything we had, our freedom, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers’ fathers.
Gov. Scotty: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: :Yes.
Gov. Scotty:: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Bigus Koch: All right, Scotty. Don’t ‘labor’ the point. And what have they ever given us in return?
Aide: Child Labor Laws.
Bigus Koch: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That’s true.
Activist: And the 8-hour work day!
Scotty:: Oh yes… The 8-hour work day, Bigus, you remember what the city used to be like.
Bigus Koch:: All right, I’ll grant you that Child Labor Laws and the 8-Hour Work Day are two things that the Unions have done…
Aide: And Workplace Safety…

Bigus: (sharply) Well yes obviously the Workplace Safety… Workplace Safety goes without saying. But apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, and Workplace Safety…
Another Activist: Paid Vacation…
Other Voices: The Minimum Wage…Health Benefits…Educational loans…Maternity/Family Medical Leave…Social Security…Medicare..the GI Bill….
Bigus: Yes… all right, fair enough…
Activist Near Front: And Civil Rights…
Omnes: Oh yes! True!
Scotty: Yeah. That’s something we’d really miss if the Unions left, Bigus..
Activist at Back: Disability pay!
Aide:: And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now.
Gov Scotty: Yes, our public employees certainly know how to keep order… (general nodding)… let’s face it, they’re the only ones who could in a place like this.

(more general murmurs of agreement)
Bigus Koch: All right… all right… but apart from Child Labor Laws, the 8-Hour Work Day, Workplace Safety, Paid Vacations, The Minimum Wage, Health Benefits, Educational loans, Maternity/Family Medical Leave, the GI Bill, Social Security, Medicare, Civil Rights, Disability Pay, and public order… what have the Unions done for us?

Ed Schultz: Created a Middle Class.

Small Voice: …when the rest of the world suffered revolution, communism, or socialism…

Bigus: (very angry, he’s not having a good meeting at all)
What!? Oh…(scornfully) a Middle Class, yes… shut up!


Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
– George Santayana, Boston Latin School Class of 1878
Those who cannot remember the past…make up a solid majority.
-Ken Rynne, Class of ’74

Ken Rynne
when news breaks, we fix it

wicked musical political satire
almost famous since 2006


There's Snow Business Like Slow Business!

A 2″ snowfall paralyzes the nation’s capital city : For some, it’s another reason to just say “slow.”

Let it Snow

Oh the Democrats’ time is dwindling,
And their bills we’ll use as kindling,
Legislation we’ll take real slow,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

Bush Tax Breaks They’ve Failed at Stopping,
And their START vote will be flopping.
Filibuster Don’t Ask, I know,
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.

When we finally do adjourn,
For a two-week Christmas at home,
Harry Reid says he might call us back,
But he’ll find out I’ve turned off my phone!

The Democratic fire’s slowly dying,
And it’s time for their good-bying,
But as long as we just say “no!”
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

[If Senate Democrats learn to say “no”
Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!]


Obama Stimulus Added 4.8 million Jobs Apl-June, Prevented Meltdown, Helped Muslims!

Stimulus added millions of jobs in Q2
Tue, Aug 24 2010
By Andy Sullivan

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The massive U.S. stimulus package put millions of people to work and boosted national output by hundreds of billions of dollars in the second quarter, the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office said on Tuesday.

CBO’s latest estimate indicates that the stimulus effort, which remains a political hot potato ahead of the November congressional elections, may have prevented the sluggish U.S. economy from contracting between April and June.

CBO said President Barack Obama’s stimulus boosted real GDP in the quarter by between 1.7 percent and 4.5 percent, adding at least $200 billion in economic activity.

During that time the economy was growing at an anemic pace.
Gross domestic product rose just 0.6 percent during that period, according to preliminary Commerce Department data which economists expect will be revised sharply lower when new figures are released on Friday.

The massive package of tax cuts, construction spending and enhanced safety-net benefits was passed in February 2009 in the midst of the deepest recession since the 1930s.

It raised employment by between 1.4 million and 3.3 million jobs during the second quarter of this year, CBO estimated.
Measured another way, CBO said the stimulus increased the number of full-time equivalent jobs by up to 4.8 million, as part-time workers shifted to full-time work or employers offered more overtime work.

CBO said the package, officially known as the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, would cost $814 billion, down from its previous estimate of $862 billion. The lower figure was thanks largely to health-care subsidies that cost less than anticipated. CBO initially estimated the bill would worsen budget deficits by $787 billion.Other than that, the estimate varies only slightly from the budget office’s forecast released in May.

With both the House of Representatives and the Senate up for grabs in November, Democrats hope voters will give them credit for breathing some life into the economy, which had begun to weaken while Republican George W. Bush was still president.

“The Recovery Act is working to rescue the economy from eight years of failed economic policy and rebuild it even stronger than before,” Vice President Joe Biden said in a prepared statement. “It’s impossible for even the most cynical, bent-on-rooting-for-failure critics to deny.”

Republicans, who almost universally opposed the stimulus, have criticized it as wasteful and ineffective. Some 67 percent of those surveyed in a Reuters/Ipsos poll last month said Obama is not focusing enough on job creation. Voters in that survey said the economy and jobs are the most pressing issues facing the country.
CBO said it expects the effects of the stimulus to gradually diminish over the remainder of the year.

(Additional reporting by Emily Kaiser; Editing by Cynthia Osterman)

More than one blogger revealed that the Obama law cleverly provided aid to “Americans” which included Muslims, so the Obama law actually helped Muslims.

Appearances Congressman Bud Noir

Hexagon Foundation, Planet Washington's Ken Rynne To Roast Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-DC)

The Friends of Hexagon Foundation’s Darrell Capwell announces that Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne will join in The Foundation’s “Roast & Toast” of DC Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton on October 22, 2010 at the US Navy Memorial in DC.

For the occasion, Ken will reprise his role as “Bud Noir, Member of Congress,” Washington, DC’s answer to Garrison Keillor & Minnesota Public Radio’s Guy Noir, Private Eye. In the past, “Bud” has sparred on stage with New York Times Columnist “Maureen Dowd” and former Governor “Sarah Palin.”

We look forward to Ken’s “tribute” to DC’s legendary delegate, Ms. Norton, a staunch Hexagon supporter, a frequent “Newsbreak” guest, who is painfully shy so Ken will ask her to open up for once to see if she has an opinion about the issue of “DC Statehood.”


Oh Oh Elena Kagan!

(August 5) – Elena Kagan, once a solicitous general, has been confirmed as the 112th Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States (or, “SCOTUS” in DC parlance).

While other nominees have ben pilloried for their judicial activism and views as divined from years of published judicial opinions, Ms. Kagan was pilloried for just the opposite. The quietest nominee since Silent Cal Coolidge.

Well, we did learn that she is a policy wonk, Justice Marshall nicknamed her “shortie,” she plays softball, and we know where to find her on Christmas Day —  like any nice Jewish girl, “in a Chinese restaurant.” My girl has a sense of humor! And brains. Forget Julia Roberts, too 80s. Today’s hot woman has smarts – has laughter – has – a great slow inside pitch!

Planet Washington salutes the newest member of
The Supremes!

Parody of “Oh, Pretty Woman”
by Ken Rynne
See, Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, 510 U.S. 569 (1994) (the “Pretty Woman/Ugly Woman” case) established that a commercial parody can qualify as fair use of copyright material.

Elena Kagan, walking down the street
I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth
No one could BE AS…wicked SMART — as you!

ELENA KAGAN, won’t you pardon me
ELENA KAGAN, I could not help see
That your IQ is high as can be
Are you NERDY just like me

ELENA KAGAN, stop a while
ELANA KAGAN, talk a while
ELENA KAGAN , yeah yeah yeah
ELENA KAGAN, look my way
ELENA KAGAN, pitch slow, inside to me
‘Cause I need you, I’ll treat you right
Come with me baby, read briefs tonight

Elena Kagan, don’t walk on by
Elena Kagan, don’t make me cry
Elena Kagan, don’t walk away, hey…okay
If that’s the way it must be, okay
I guess I’ll go on home, it’s late
There’ll be tomorrow night, but wait
What do I see?
Is she walking back to me?
Confirmed & walking back to me!
Oh, oh, Elena Kagan!

when news breaks, we fix it!


American University: "Let the Eagles Soar!' – John Ashcroft

Students, professors, and administrators from American University have joined Planet Washington for some good fun at our cabaret and we feel a part the expanding AU family up on Ward Circle in DC – the most politically active student body in the country!  We especially love American’s School of Public Affairs. As humorists, we believe that all affairs should be public affairs!   We are proud to add our Planet to the other 144 nations represented on American’s campus!


College Tour: Georgetown – We Put the Ho! Ho! in Hoyas!

Over 100 Georgetown alumni and students gathered for a hilarious night of stand-up comedy at the legendary Improv Comedy Club. Sponsored by The Georgetown Media & Arts Alliance, GEMA LAUGHS featured a variety of styles and humor were on display during the University’s annual John Carroll alumni weekend with such comics as Paul Mecurio (GU Law Alumnus), Ken Rynne (C’78 L’83) David Benedetto (F ’13), Jeff Maurer (C ’02), and emcee George Peacock (C ’84).

Planet Washington’s offered a sampler of some wicked funny musical takes on life in DC and America (and never the twain shall meet) including “It’s Planet Washington, show biz for ugly people!” (Parody of “Hooray for Hollywood”), an homage to the nearby Mayflower Hotel and an infamous guest Gov. Eliot Spitzer (D-Libido), “Love Client #9,”  and a tribute to everybody’s favorite lil latte shop and prospective employer,”then I saw Starbucks, now I’m a Barista” (“I’m a Believer.”)

Appearances Videos

Planet Washington @ White House Chronicle

News with a sense of humor.  White House Chronicle is a weekly news and public affairs program, airing nationwide on PBS, public access cable and commercial television channels. The program also airs on Sirius XM Satellite Radio. Its hosts are nationally syndicated columnist and author Llewellyn King and veteran journalist Linda Gasparello.

Planet Washington appeared on White House Chronicle during the George W. Bush Presidency: October 26, 2007 – which will explain our musical selection that day, The Great Decider.

Also on the show, our hosts, Llewellyn King and Linda Gasparello and guests: Julie Mason, The Houston Chronicle; George Wilson, XM Satellite Radio; Darren Gersh, Nightly Business Report.