Tag Archives: Parodies


Sochi 2014 Olympics: Putin on the Ritz

The Olympics and Russia have had a difficult time over the years. In 1980, Moscow hosted the Summer Olympics only to have the US Boycott them because of the then-Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Now that the US has concluded ITS invasion of Afghanistan, all is forgiven apparently as Russia (formerly Soviet Union) hosts the 2014 winter Olympics in Sochi. Where’s Sochi you ask? Don’t ask!

Sochi is a remote town in the Caucuses (where Caucasians come from) on the Black Sea. There’s lots to see and do besides freeze and drink vodka. In addition to new billion-dollar Olympic venues, it boasts an anciet cemetary AND Anton Checkov’s cottage!

But it wouldn’t be the Olympics (or Russia) without drama — Homosexual propaganda is outlawed in Russia. (This does NOT include President Putin’s frequent homoerotic shirtless appearances hunting, fishing, riding, and posing.)

Therefore, our natural tribute to Putin’s straight olympics is “Putin on the Ritz.” Written for the 1930 musical film of the same name, in which it was introduced by Harry Richman, it was originally about poor blacks in Harlem who “put on the Ritz”, or pretended to be affluent–a reference to the Ritz Hotel. When Fred Astaire sang it six years later, Berlin had changed the lyrics to pertain to affluent whites. It was featured to great comedic effect in Mel Brooks’ 1974 picture Young Frankenstein. And now, Vlad the Impaler.

Putin on the Ritz

If you ski, or skate or curl, or play hock-ey
Come to Sochi, and wear your mitts
Putin on the Ritz

Russian athletes are the best,
we’ll beat the homos from the West, all misfits
Putin on the Ritz

That’s where each and every commisar goes
Op’ning ceremony in their fur clothes
Rubbin’ elbows

Come let’s mix, where KGB agents walk with sticks
And AK’s in their mitts
Putin on the Ritz

If you’re blue, and you don’t know where to go to
(Y-M-C-A– is NOT an option)
Just go where Edward Snowden sits
Putin on the Ritz

Op’ning show will Putin buy it?
Chekov sung by Pussy Riot, all misfits
Putin on the Ritz

There’s a special place where pro-tes-ters go
Called Siberia – I hope they like snow, Frozen’ elbows

Come let’s mix, where cossacks do walk with sticks
And AK’s in their mitts
Putin on the Ritz! Putin on the Ritz! Putin on the Ritz!

In Russia is 2 part system comrades –
Putin party and Going-away party!


Planet Washington: Musical Political Comedy …………………………….. Almost Famous Since 2006

Planet Washington presents Every Day is April Fool’s in Washington, their latest gut-busting, politician-skewering show. It’s an evening of witty, topical and musical social satire, performed by former Hill staffer and Capitol Steps performer Ken Rynne and keyboard sidekick Frank Plumer.

The show features musical political comedy in the tradition of the Capitol Steps and Mark Russell, but also featuring audience participation, improv and family-friendly fun. Russell is already a fan. And after watching Planet Washington, you’re bound to be too.

“Great show! Potent! Pithy! Funny! And you have a better piano player than I do!”Mark Russell

“If laughter is the best medicine, Ken Rynne is a one-man Mayo Clinic!” –PBS NewsHour

“If you think that inside the Beltway sometimes is a planet unto itself, this show is for you.” –Boston Globe

Fun & Funny! He’s been funny since he was a kid growing up in Boston! - Bob Madigan, WTOP
Today, He’s Mark Russell on Steroids!
An Irish Tenor Jon Stewart.

What’s so funny about Washington, DC? If you have to ask, you haven’t been paying attention! But they have!

Ken Rynne is a writer and singer who came to DC from Boston and never left (they call it “Potomac fever”). He studied American government in college, had an internship through Speaker of the House Thomas P. “Tip” O’Neill’s office, and went on to law school. He studies policy like normal people study baseball box scores.

After studying government in theory and then actually experiencing it in practice working for Congress, moonlighting with The Capitol Steps, Ken had an overwhelming need to tell what he saw from a staff’s eye view – like the fellow with the broom who follows the elephants in the circus – and set it to music like his mentor and friend Mark Russell.

Frank Plumer is a gifted pianist and music teacher. He has a life. Like most Americans he thinks about politics about 20 minutes a year – and resents the intrusion. Frank is the “control group” in our little experiment here in the laboratory of democracy.

Planet Washington believes laughter is the best medicine and we need our Rx refilled on a daily basis. Even the lawyers. Especially the lawyers. Be fair &/or balanced. Roast but never burn. Never serve red wine with fish. Keep it clean. Funniest ex-lawyer & Capitol Hill wonk Ken Rynne & pianist Frank Plumer spoof politics, pop culture, & all that passes for “news” in Washington, a planet unto itself, & beyond.

Call us – we’ll perform for you – wherever 2 or 3 are gathered – with cash.
Or, Our Next Scheduled DC Public Show:

Sat, Jul 13 @ 7:30pm

*** Arch Campbell will attend and review us at this upcoming show! He may interview you. Be nice! ***

The Westin Washington, D.C. City Center
2d Floor Fireplace Room
1400 M Street NW
Washington, DC 20005


WHAT A WEEK "for me to poop on" – To Quote A Distinguished Colleague, Triumph the Late Night Comic Insult Dog.

Saturday night at The Westin “Planet Washington” takes on NRA Registration (Required Before Buying a Senator), the media (“Breaking News Means ‘BE AFRAID'”), and exploding fertilizer plants (CNN)…to name a few.

It was a week of bravery, resilience, and a community uniting — but we’ll be covering what you saw on the news.

Appearances Parodies

Obama Wines & Dines GOP Senators (But will he get lucky?) Vietnam POW McCain Defends Jane Fonda! Can You Feel The LOvE ?

(Planet Washington) – When News Breaks, We Fix It. The President has launched a charm offensive with the help of McCain Amigo Lindsay Graham taking no fewer than 11 GOP Senators to dinner at DC’s posh Jefferson Hotel. Will POTUS score? On the first date – unlikely.

Meanwhile, as Rand Paul did his best Jimmy Stewart imitation filibustering the CIA Director’s nomination on the Senate floor for over 10 hours, he invoked the image of Vietnam war protestor and bete noir of Vietnam vets Jane Fonda — which brought none other than uber vet and POW John McCain to the floor TO DEFEND FONDA! It’s Madness! March Madness!

Will All This LOvE Change Gotham, er, Washington?

Saturday night, Planet Washington celebrates this madness with a special parody of — Can You Feel The LOvE Tonight?  The song from the Lyin’ King.


Did Beyonce Lip Sync Planet Washington Parody?

Ken Rynne (& Beyonce) have done it again! Our tribute to the 44th President of these somewhat United States unveiled at our Inauguration Eve Show.
Ken sang ‘Barack in the Saddle Again’ live! Beyonce did not lip sync nor did she perform live at the New Hampshire Avenue venue. We hope this will stop the rumors and many press inquiries. We can only hope.

Barack in the Saddle Again
Parody of Gene Autrey & Ray Whitley’s Back in the Saddle Again (1939). Parody by Ken Rynne. As not sung by Beyonce

Barack in the Saddle Again
Here where your dog is your friend
Where the bottom-feeders breed
And the Westerners smoke weed (inhale!!!)
Barack in the saddle again

Ridin’ the range once more
Totin’ my old .44
(If your background check is done
And you’re over 21)
Barack in the saddle again

Eric Canter’s got to go
Back in the saddle again
Joe Biden’s here to stay (It’s a Big F@ckin Deal!)
Barack in the saddle again

Our next live pubic show: Feb 16, The Westin Hotel,
1400 M Street, NW, Washington, DC.


Minimal Carbon Footprint Transportation Carol

Sleigh Ride! A Holiday Parody by Ken Rynne
for fellow energy wonks

Dashing through the snow, In a one-horse open sleigh;
O’er the fields we go, Laughing all the way.
Bells on bobtail ring, Making spirits bright;
What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight.

Oh! jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way;
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way;
We can’t afford to fuel our car, so we’re freezing in this sleigh.
We can’t afford to fuel our car, so we’re freezing in this sleigh. Hey!
(fueled by hay!)

Merry Mileage and Happy Hydrocarbons
from Planet Washington
when news breaks, we fix it


We'll Have Sequestration for Christmas this Year

SEQUESTRATION? It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like……Congress! (a Holiday Parody by Ken Rynne)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Congress / Ev’rywhere you go.
Take a look at the budget tiff / approaching the fiscal cliff /
With revenue & tax cuts all aglow.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Congress /Domestic cuts in store
But the prettiest sight to see /is the tax cut that will be /
On your own front door.

A pair of hop-along boots /& a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Generals and friends /
Dolls that won’t talk but will go for a walk /
Is the hope of Petraes’ men /
And Grover Norquist pledges not to start that pledge again.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Congress / Ev’rywhere you go; /
The White House has got a tree / The Capitol now has three /
for Democrats Republicans, and Tea (party)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Congress/ a deal will soon be near
But the thing that will make us sing / is the silliness they’ll bring /
as they do each year!

But the thing that will make us sing / is the silliness they’ll bring /
as they do each year!

Merry Congress & Happy Sequestration Everyone from Planet Washington!


How Your News Is Made – 3 Flavors: PBS, MSNBC, & FOX

…..Professor Ken Rynne of Planet Washington explains to a live audience “How Your News Is Made.” Three flavors: PBS SnoozeHour, MSDNC, and FAUX NEWS.
If it leads…it bleeds. “Breaking News” means BE AFRAID!!! And more lessons from the other side..

Live comedy performance.


Mitt: Miss Me Yet?

LIVE PERFORMANCE!!! Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne does it again. Wicked funny parody ‘honoring’ the GOP’s likely nominee for Prez, that dog-loving, wealth-creating, prep school prankster Mitt Romney to the tune of “That’s Amore.” (“When the moon hits your eye — so you offer to BUY!” That’s Mitt Romney!”) Former Hill aide and lawyer Ken Rynne ‘splains DC in hilarious – often true – stories and wicked funny songs. Like Jon Stewart’s Daily Show…with great music and Hill experience.

That’s Mitt Romney   Parody of That’s Amore By Ken Rynne

In politics where gold is king/
When boy meets nomination here’s what they sing:/

When the Moon hits your eye / so you offer to BUY! /That’s Mitt Romney
When your eyes always shine / though you never drink wine /That’s Mitt Romney

Cash box rings / ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling/ he “Bain of Your Existence”
Positions ‘Steep,’ / tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay/ With Tea Party assistance.

When you’ve more than one house/ and a stay at home spouse/ That’s Mitt Romney.When some income they miss/ cause your banker is Swiss/ You’re in dough.

When you’re biggest “quote” goof, is a dog on the roof?!?!?!?!/ well excuuuuuse me!!! Come November, next fall/ Who’d ‘outsource’ Democrats all?/ That’s Mitt Romney!

Romney / Exxon 2012 – Hey, Corporations Are People Too!


Goodnight, Farewell, Get Out! From Planet Washington

LIVE PERFORMANCE!!! Planet Wshington’s Ken Rynne does it again! A wicked funny parody of Mel Brooks’ final song from the film The Producers! The former Hill aode and lawyer ‘splains DC with mirthful music and wicked funny parodies. Beat’s workin.