Tag Archives: humor

Parodies

Strange Bedfellows (a 100% Weiner-free story)

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At a time when GOP presidential hopefuls attack each other publicly, House Dems wait and see as mid-term elections approach, and Senators filibuster changes to the filibuster, in the New Republic great praise is lavished upon President Obama by none other than Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), the GOP nominee who battled Obama in his first presidential campaign in 2008. The old saw “politics makes strange bed fellows” is truer now than ever – and it has nothing to do with DOMA, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, or candidates for office in New York State.

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Parodies

Rand Paul, Chris Christie Battle for Soul of GOP

Well they began it! Well THEY began it!!
Dangerous libertarian! – Christie in Aspen
King of Bacon! – Tweeted Paul

Ouch! Public sniping by tweet and conference!
Acting like – like -like Democrats!!!
In a high-tech circular firing squad.

Commandment XI: Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican.
– The Dalai Ronald Reagan

Forgive them Father, er, Ron.

Parodies

Leaker Edward Snowden Tired of Living at Moscow Airport — No Cinnabon!

Airport Food Worse Than College. And NO Cinnabon!

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No Secrecy is One Thing. No Privacy, Quite Another!

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Russian Flight Attendants Look NOTHING Like Catherine Zeta-Jones.

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Welcome to First Class Comrade.

Parodies

On Gay Priests, Pope Francis Asks, ‘Who Am I to Judge?’

Westboro Baptist Church has announced they will are certainly ready to judge and will meet the Pope upon his return to Rome.

Parodies

Voting Rights, Shmoting Rights


A Tribute to the 5 Justices who invalidated Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act of 1965.
(We shall overcome parody)

We don’t need to vote, We won’t wait and vote
We’ll just shop at Walmart today
Oh, deep in your heart. You must believe
We don’t need to vote today

The last few elections went fine, The last few elections went fine
And everybody voted just fine
Oh, deep in your heart. You must believe
The last few elections all went just fine

Scalia’s got our back Scalia’s got our back
Bull Connor’s got our back today
Oh, deep in my heart. I do believe
It’s time to organize today.

PLANET WASHINGTON when news breaks, we fix it
TV: July 11, Arch Campbell Show, Ch. 8 DC
Live show: July 13, Westin, 1400 M St NW DC 20005 www.planetwashington.com

Funny Stuff Parody

Scalia’s Lament “No More DOMA” (methinks he doth protest too much)

NO MORE DOMA. For some reason, Justice Scalia took the overturning on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) very very personally, as illustrated in his lament, Nessun Dorma (“No More DOMA.”) Imagine the dilemma for lovers who once protested, “You know I’d marry you if only it were legal!” The opera is best appreciated when sung in Italian with English subtitles (as we will perform it July 13 in DC)

Justices Scalia and Thomas in happier times

(CNN on-the-fly English Translation of “No More DOMA”)
No More DOMA, No More DOMA
Even you, O Clarence,
in your chambers cold
that tremble with love and with beard.

But my secret is hidden within me,
my name no one shall know…
No!…No!…
On your silent mouth I will tell it.
And my kiss will reveal the love that dare not speak its name…
(No one will know his name and we must, alas, demur.)
Vanish, O beard!
Circuit cases! Circuit cases!
On appeal,
I will win! I will win! I will win!

Original Italian
Nessun dorma, Nessun dorma
Tu pure, o, Principessa,
nella tua fredda stanza,
guardi le stelle
che tremano d’amore
e di speranza.
Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me,
il nome mio nessun saprà!
No, no, sulla tua bocca lo dirò
quando la luce splenderà!
Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio
che ti fa mia!
(Il nome suo nessun saprà!…
e noi dovrem, ahime, morir!)
Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle!
All’alba vincerò!
vincerò, vincerò!

PLANET WASHINGTON when news breaks, we fix it.
Hear Ken Rynne, comedian and lyric tenor, live February 13 at The Westin 1400 M Street NW Washington, DC. www.planetwashington.com Ciao!

Parodies

Scalia's Lament "No More DOMA" (methinks he doth protest too much)

NO MORE DOMA. For some reason, Justice Scalia took the overturning on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) very very personally, as illustrated in his lament, Nessun Dorma (“No More DOMA.”) Imagine the dilemma for lovers who once protested, “You know I’d marry you if only it were legal!” The opera is best appreciated when sung in Italian with English subtitles (as we will perform it July 13 in DC)

Justices Scalia and Thomas in happier times

(CNN on-the-fly English Translation of “No More DOMA”)
No More DOMA, No More DOMA
Even you, O Clarence,
in your chambers cold
that tremble with love and with beard.

But my secret is hidden within me,
my name no one shall know…
No!…No!…
On your silent mouth I will tell it.
And my kiss will reveal the love that dare not speak its name…
(No one will know his name and we must, alas, demur.)
Vanish, O beard!
Circuit cases! Circuit cases!
On appeal,
I will win! I will win! I will win!

Original Italian
Nessun dorma, Nessun dorma
Tu pure, o, Principessa,
nella tua fredda stanza,
guardi le stelle
che tremano d’amore
e di speranza.
Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me,
il nome mio nessun saprà!
No, no, sulla tua bocca lo dirò
quando la luce splenderà!
Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio
che ti fa mia!
(Il nome suo nessun saprà!…
e noi dovrem, ahime, morir!)
Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle!
All’alba vincerò!
vincerò, vincerò!

PLANET WASHINGTON when news breaks, we fix it.
Hear Ken Rynne, comedian and lyric tenor, live February 13 at The Westin 1400 M Street NW Washington, DC. www.planetwashington.com Ciao!

Appearances

DC Scandal, Isn’t That Redundant?

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A new guide to DC Scandals lists OUR OWN WESTIN HOTEL as site of Mayor for Life Marion Barry’s debut on the FBI’s reality show America’s Got Crack!
The Hotel was then known as The Vista Hotel – Now, The Westin. The room was and is No. 727. Although as Hizzonor explained “b@tch set me up,” the charges didn’t stick. Mr. Barry is currently City Councilman from Ward 8.

[As a Bostonian I understand this. My grandparents elected Mayor Curley to Congress – while a resident of Danbury Federal Prison. “He may be a crook – but he was OUR crook” as Grampa Keough explained].  Loyalty.

Upcoming Shows

DC Scandal, Isn’t That Redundant?

A new guide to DC Scandals lists OUR OWN WESTIN HOTEL as site of Mayor for Life Marion Barry’s debut on the FBI’s reality show America’s Got Crack!
The Hotel was then known as The Vista Hotel – Now, The Westin. The room was and is No. 727. Although as Hizzonor explained “b@tch set me up,” the charges didn’t stick. Mr. Barry is currently City Councilman from Ward 8.

[As a Bostonian I understand this. My grandparents elected Mayor Curley to Congress – while a resident of Danbury Federal Prison. “He may be a crook – but he was OUR crook” as Grampa Keough explained].

Planet Washington currently makes with the jokes and sets scandals to music monthly at The Westin, 1400 M Street, NW, DC 20005 in the 2d floor Fireplace Room.

Our next show: July 13, 7:30 pm, $20.

Catch us on July 11-12-13 on The Arch Campbell Show, Channel 8 in DC.

Parodies

Scalia Laments No Mo Doma!

The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Justice Scalia was particularly upset. We dedicate this little ditty to him.

NO MO DOMA
Ken Rynne’s PLANET WASHINGTON, when news breaks, we fix it!
(“Going to the Chapel” parody)

Going to the chapel and we’re gonna to get married.
5 to 4 the Su-premes say that, we can get married.
Gee, I really love you and we’re gonna to get married.
Going to the chapel of love.

Summer is here, the sky is blue.
While politicians sing, as if they knew.
Today’s the day, we’ll say, “I do”
As we watch Justice Scalia’s head explode….(fade out)

See and hear us:
Arch Campbell Show, Channel 8, DC, July 11
Live, The Westin 1400 M St NW, DC July 13
www.planetwashington.com