Category Archives: Parody

Funny Stuff Parody

Scalia’s Lament “No More DOMA” (methinks he doth protest too much)

NO MORE DOMA. For some reason, Justice Scalia took the overturning on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) very very personally, as illustrated in his lament, Nessun Dorma (“No More DOMA.”) Imagine the dilemma for lovers who once protested, “You know I’d marry you if only it were legal!” The opera is best appreciated when sung in Italian with English subtitles (as we will perform it July 13 in DC)

Justices Scalia and Thomas in happier times

(CNN on-the-fly English Translation of “No More DOMA”)
No More DOMA, No More DOMA
Even you, O Clarence,
in your chambers cold
that tremble with love and with beard.

But my secret is hidden within me,
my name no one shall know…
On your silent mouth I will tell it.
And my kiss will reveal the love that dare not speak its name…
(No one will know his name and we must, alas, demur.)
Vanish, O beard!
Circuit cases! Circuit cases!
On appeal,
I will win! I will win! I will win!

Original Italian
Nessun dorma, Nessun dorma
Tu pure, o, Principessa,
nella tua fredda stanza,
guardi le stelle
che tremano d’amore
e di speranza.
Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me,
il nome mio nessun saprà!
No, no, sulla tua bocca lo dirò
quando la luce splenderà!
Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio
che ti fa mia!
(Il nome suo nessun saprà!…
e noi dovrem, ahime, morir!)
Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle!
All’alba vincerò!
vincerò, vincerò!

PLANET WASHINGTON when news breaks, we fix it.
Hear Ken Rynne, comedian and lyric tenor, live February 13 at The Westin 1400 M Street NW Washington, DC. Ciao!

Funny Stuff Parody Upcoming Shows

Obama Wines & Dines GOP Senators (But will he get lucky?) Vietnam POW McCain Defends Jane Fonda! Can You Feel The LOvE ?

(Planet Washington) – When News Breaks, We Fix It. The President has launched a charm offensive with the help of McCain Amigo Lindsay Graham taking no fewer than 11 GOP Senators to dinner at DC’s posh Jefferson Hotel. Will POTUS score? On the first date – unlikely.

Meanwhile, as Rand Paul did his best Jimmy Stewart imitation filibustering the CIA Director’s nomination on the Senate floor for over 10 hours, he invoked the image of Vietnam war protestor and bete noir of Vietnam vets Jane Fonda — which brought none other than uber vet and POW John McCain to the floor TO DEFEND FONDA! It’s Madness! March Madness!

Will All This LOvE Change Gotham, er, Washington?

Saturday night, Planet Washington celebrates this madness with a special parody of — Can You Feel The LOvE Tonight? Planet Washington with Ken Rynne Live! The Westin, 1400 M St NW DC 20005 (2d Floor Fireplace Lounge). Ninety minutes of fun, wicked funny parodies, music, and more. $20

Funny Stuff Healing with Humor Parody

We’ll Have Sequestration for Christmas this Year

SEQUESTRATION? It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like……Congress! (a Holiday Parody by Ken Rynne)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Congress / Ev’rywhere you go.
Take a look at the budget tiff / approaching the fiscal cliff /
With revenue & tax cuts all aglow.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Congress /Domestic cuts in store
But the prettiest sight to see /is the tax cut that will be /
On your own front door.

A pair of hop-along boots /& a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Generals and friends /
Dolls that won’t talk but will go for a walk /
Is the hope of Petraes’ men /
And Grover Norquist pledges not to start that pledge again.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Congress / Ev’rywhere you go; /
The White House has got a tree / The Capitol now has three /
for Democrats Republicans, and Tea (party)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Congress/ a deal will soon be near
But the thing that will make us sing / is the silliness they’ll bring /
as they do each year!

But the thing that will make us sing / is the silliness they’ll bring /
as they do each year!

Merry Congress & Happy Sequestration Everyone from Planet Washington!

College Tour Healing with Humor Parody Videos

How YOUR NEWS Is Made & Our First Term Obama Medley “Barack Obama Superstar”

…..Professor Ken Rynne of Planet Washington explains to a live audience “How Your News Is Made.” Three flavors: PBS SnoozeHour, MSDNC, and FAUX NEWS.
If it leads…it bleeds. “Breaking News” means BE AFRAID!!! And more lessons from years misspent on the Hill.   Also – our first term Obama tribute.

Live comedy performance.

Funny Stuff Mitt Romney Parody

The 1% Solution: That’s Mitt Romney!

$ $ $

That’s Mitt Romney
Parody of That’s Amore
By Ken Rynne

$ $ $

In politics where gold is king/
When boy meets nomination here’s what they sing:/

$ $ $

When the Moon hits your eye / so you offer to BUY!
That’s Mitt Romney
When your eyes always shine / though you never drink wine
That’s Mitt Romney

Cash box rings / ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
The “Bain of Your Existence”
Positions ‘Steep,’ / tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
With Tea Party assistance.

When you’ve more than one house
and a stay at home spouse
That’s Mitt Romney.

When some income they miss
cause your banker is Swiss
You’re in dough.

When you’re biggest “quote” goof,
is a dog on the roof (?!)
well excuuuuuse me!!!

Come November, next fall
Who’d ‘outsource’ Democrats all?
That’s Mitt Romney!

Romney / Exxon 2012 – Corporations Are People Too!

Funny Stuff Parody

Service No Secret: Columbia’s Got Talent!

No laughing matter when the president’s security detail is compromised by a comely ‘escort’ after one agent quibbles over the price. BUTT we vow here when news breaks, we fix it…so, as Joan Wilder might say (Romancing the Stone), “Blame it on Cartegena!”

And Cartegena officials are upset that their good reputation has been impugned by the incident. One only hopes the Cartegena Chamber of Cartel Commerce bounces back as the Original Drug Capital of South America.

Secret Service Man
Parody of “Secret Agent Man”
By Ken Rynne

There’s a man who leads a life of danger.
Behind those cool ray bans, he stays a stranger.
Wherever POTUS goes, He’s there before he shows.
He makes it safe today, for him tomorrow.

Secret Service man
Secret Service man
They’ve given you a mission,
and sent you on a plane.

Beware of pretty faces that you find.
A pretty face can hide an evil mind.
Oh, be careful what you say. You’ll give scheduling away.
Odds are you’ll be sober by tomorrow.

Secret Service man
Secret Service man
They’ve given you an Uzzi,
and a phony road trip name.

Swingin’ in San Salvador, one day
and swinging in Cartegena the next day.
About exchange rates you’re not hip. You should have left a tip.
This might just hit the fan at home tomorrow.

Secret Service man
Secret Service man
She quoted you her number,
But you weren’t thinking with your brain!

She quoted you her price
But you weren’t thinking with your brain!

“once I had a secret love/ but my secret love’s no secret anymore!”

Funny Stuff Parody

Citing Success of ‘Beer Summit,’ Bo Obama and Seamus Romney Propose ‘Dog Summit.’ Pets No Longer ‘Fair Game.’ Sarah MacLachlan Invited to Perform.

Funny Stuff Parody

‘Blessed’ Rick Santorum Performs Second Miracle: Turns Blind Man Lame. Advances toward Sainthood!

He’s winning insignificant primaries!
He’s blessing children!
He’s arriving in a Pope-mobile!!!
He’s Rick Santorum!
The only candidate with a Campaign Hymn!!!

Salve Santorum!
Parody of “Hail Holy Queen”
Traditional Catholic Hymn “Salve Regina”
c.1080 St. Anselm… of Lucca or St. Bernard (WOOF!)
also updated in Sister Act. c 2012 Ken Rynne

He is Cath’lic, He’s conservative,
Rick Santorum
From the Quaker State, but full of love.
Rick Santorum.
Gingrich looks like a cherubim
Romney thinks he’s the seraphim
Rick’s campaign has its own hymn
Salve, salve, salve Santorum!
Our hope in sorrow and in woe
Oh, oh, oh Santorum
Triumph over Gingrich, Rick (Cherubim)
Sing with us Beat Romney, Rick (Seraphim)
When Rick gets mad he’s such a…pain (like McCain)
Salve, salve, salve, Santorum
Salve Santorum (wa, oh, oh)
Salve Santorum

Hear it Live soon! As Rick turns water into whine!

Funny Stuff Healing with Humor Parody Think Piece

Congress Extends Unemployment Insurance Benes!!! Whoo-hoo!!! I’m Goin Home Early! G’Night Suckers!

So Congress JUST passed a payroll TAX CUT to increase workers’ take-home PAY — AND — extended Unemployment Insurance Benes too!!!  Whoo-Hoo!

Who needs this gig?  I’m goin’ home.  G’night!

Don’t know about you but there goes MY incentive to work — just like some in Congress said! 

Outta the offices!

Outta the factories (if any left)

Time to start the “OCCUPY THE MAN CAVE”  movement.

College Tour Funny Stuff Healing with Humor Parody Think Piece


Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne was published Feb 11 in the leading South African humour magazine (even the spelling is funny!) SAX APPEAL. ‘SA’ as in South Africa.  X as in ‘X.'(Think The Onion but with Mandela on the side).

I enjoyed meeting students from the University of Cape Town last summer one of whom invited me to contribute to her epic publication.

The story, a SAX APPEAL EXCLUSIVE, explains that Republicans in the US typically get into money scandals and Democrats get into sex scandals. A well managed scandal can change the subject (from, say, unemployment, traditionally a downer) and actually give their ratings – among other things – a boost.  If it doesn’t kill their careers totally (McGreevy, Craig) or get them their own cable tv show (Spitzer) or a run for higher office (Gingrich).  

President Obama’s clean image just isn’t helping him much.  What he needs is a good olde fashioned scandal!  But as one who ran on a theme of ‘change’ and has governed as a centrist, will he pick the right scandal?  Goldman Sachs only knows!

The answer – and the story – will be recounted on the Planet Washington web site in the coming days.  Watch this space – or order a copy of your own:  Hakuna matata!