Category Archives: Parodies


On Gay Priests, Pope Francis Asks, ‘Who Am I to Judge?’

Westboro Baptist Church has announced they will are certainly ready to judge and will meet the Pope upon his return to Rome.


Voting Rights, Shmoting Rights

A Tribute to the 5 Justices who invalidated Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act of 1965.
(We shall overcome parody)

We don’t need to vote, We won’t wait and vote
We’ll just shop at Walmart today
Oh, deep in your heart. You must believe
We don’t need to vote today

The last few elections went fine, The last few elections went fine
And everybody voted just fine
Oh, deep in your heart. You must believe
The last few elections all went just fine

Scalia’s got our back Scalia’s got our back
Bull Connor’s got our back today
Oh, deep in my heart. I do believe
It’s time to organize today.

PLANET WASHINGTON when news breaks, we fix it
TV: July 11, Arch Campbell Show, Ch. 8 DC
Live show: July 13, Westin, 1400 M St NW DC 20005


Scalia's Lament "No More DOMA" (methinks he doth protest too much)

NO MORE DOMA. For some reason, Justice Scalia took the overturning on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) very very personally, as illustrated in his lament, Nessun Dorma (“No More DOMA.”) Imagine the dilemma for lovers who once protested, “You know I’d marry you if only it were legal!” The opera is best appreciated when sung in Italian with English subtitles (as we will perform it July 13 in DC)

Justices Scalia and Thomas in happier times

(CNN on-the-fly English Translation of “No More DOMA”)
No More DOMA, No More DOMA
Even you, O Clarence,
in your chambers cold
that tremble with love and with beard.

But my secret is hidden within me,
my name no one shall know…
On your silent mouth I will tell it.
And my kiss will reveal the love that dare not speak its name…
(No one will know his name and we must, alas, demur.)
Vanish, O beard!
Circuit cases! Circuit cases!
On appeal,
I will win! I will win! I will win!

Original Italian
Nessun dorma, Nessun dorma
Tu pure, o, Principessa,
nella tua fredda stanza,
guardi le stelle
che tremano d’amore
e di speranza.
Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me,
il nome mio nessun saprà!
No, no, sulla tua bocca lo dirò
quando la luce splenderà!
Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio
che ti fa mia!
(Il nome suo nessun saprà!…
e noi dovrem, ahime, morir!)
Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle!
All’alba vincerò!
vincerò, vincerò!

PLANET WASHINGTON when news breaks, we fix it.
Hear Ken Rynne, comedian and lyric tenor, live February 13 at The Westin 1400 M Street NW Washington, DC. Ciao!


Scalia Laments No Mo Doma!

The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Justice Scalia was particularly upset. We dedicate this little ditty to him.

Ken Rynne’s PLANET WASHINGTON, when news breaks, we fix it!
(“Going to the Chapel” parody)

Going to the chapel and we’re gonna to get married.
5 to 4 the Su-premes say that, we can get married.
Gee, I really love you and we’re gonna to get married.
Going to the chapel of love.

Summer is here, the sky is blue.
While politicians sing, as if they knew.
Today’s the day, we’ll say, “I do”
As we watch Justice Scalia’s head explode….(fade out)

See and hear us:
Arch Campbell Show, Channel 8, DC, July 11
Live, The Westin 1400 M St NW, DC July 13


Where's Snowden?

BREAKING NEWS: US Intelligence sources believe they have located the whereabouts of fugitive Edward Snowden — a cave in Afghanistan.


NSA: No Such Agency

The Guardian (UK) Newspaper reports that the US National Security Agency (NSA) has been monitoring the time, duration, and other characteristics of cell phone calls of all Verizon customers in the United States.

Planet Washington: When news breaks, we fix it.

NSA walks into a bar.
Bartender: “Got a new joke for you.”
NSA: “Heard it.”


Planet Washington: Musical Political Comedy …………………………….. Almost Famous Since 2006

Planet Washington presents Every Day is April Fool’s in Washington, their latest gut-busting, politician-skewering show. It’s an evening of witty, topical and musical social satire, performed by former Hill staffer and Capitol Steps performer Ken Rynne and keyboard sidekick Frank Plumer.

The show features musical political comedy in the tradition of the Capitol Steps and Mark Russell, but also featuring audience participation, improv and family-friendly fun. Russell is already a fan. And after watching Planet Washington, you’re bound to be too.

“Great show! Potent! Pithy! Funny! And you have a better piano player than I do!”Mark Russell

“If laughter is the best medicine, Ken Rynne is a one-man Mayo Clinic!” –PBS NewsHour

“If you think that inside the Beltway sometimes is a planet unto itself, this show is for you.” –Boston Globe

Fun & Funny! He’s been funny since he was a kid growing up in Boston! - Bob Madigan, WTOP
Today, He’s Mark Russell on Steroids!
An Irish Tenor Jon Stewart.

What’s so funny about Washington, DC? If you have to ask, you haven’t been paying attention! But they have!

Ken Rynne is a writer and singer who came to DC from Boston and never left (they call it “Potomac fever”). He studied American government in college, had an internship through Speaker of the House Thomas P. “Tip” O’Neill’s office, and went on to law school. He studies policy like normal people study baseball box scores.

After studying government in theory and then actually experiencing it in practice working for Congress, moonlighting with The Capitol Steps, Ken had an overwhelming need to tell what he saw from a staff’s eye view – like the fellow with the broom who follows the elephants in the circus – and set it to music like his mentor and friend Mark Russell.

Frank Plumer is a gifted pianist and music teacher. He has a life. Like most Americans he thinks about politics about 20 minutes a year – and resents the intrusion. Frank is the “control group” in our little experiment here in the laboratory of democracy.

Planet Washington believes laughter is the best medicine and we need our Rx refilled on a daily basis. Even the lawyers. Especially the lawyers. Be fair &/or balanced. Roast but never burn. Never serve red wine with fish. Keep it clean. Funniest ex-lawyer & Capitol Hill wonk Ken Rynne & pianist Frank Plumer spoof politics, pop culture, & all that passes for “news” in Washington, a planet unto itself, & beyond.

Call us – we’ll perform for you – wherever 2 or 3 are gathered – with cash.
Or, Our Next Scheduled DC Public Show:

Sat, Jul 13 @ 7:30pm

*** Arch Campbell will attend and review us at this upcoming show! He may interview you. Be nice! ***

The Westin Washington, D.C. City Center
2d Floor Fireplace Room
1400 M Street NW
Washington, DC 20005


NRA's LaPierre Applauds Model Korean School Security

When news breaks, we fix it.

Planet Washington Monthly Live Show!
Saturday, April 20, 7:30 pm.
The 2d Floor Fireplace Room
The Westin
1400 M St NW DC 20005
$20 at the door/in advance

Audio mp3 Parodies Rave Reviews

WTOP’s Bob Madigan: Sometimes Washington Seems Like Another Planet

Bob Madigan, WTOP’s Man About Town dropped in to PLANET WASHINGTOPN’s show Saturday Night and liked what he heard! His great report aired 3/10/13, and is on WTOP’s web site and is attached here. WTOP Bob Madigan’s Report

Ken is just as funny as he was growing up in Boston – wicked funny!”

Appearances Parodies

Obama Wines & Dines GOP Senators (But will he get lucky?) Vietnam POW McCain Defends Jane Fonda! Can You Feel The LOvE ?

(Planet Washington) – When News Breaks, We Fix It. The President has launched a charm offensive with the help of McCain Amigo Lindsay Graham taking no fewer than 11 GOP Senators to dinner at DC’s posh Jefferson Hotel. Will POTUS score? On the first date – unlikely.

Meanwhile, as Rand Paul did his best Jimmy Stewart imitation filibustering the CIA Director’s nomination on the Senate floor for over 10 hours, he invoked the image of Vietnam war protestor and bete noir of Vietnam vets Jane Fonda — which brought none other than uber vet and POW John McCain to the floor TO DEFEND FONDA! It’s Madness! March Madness!

Will All This LOvE Change Gotham, er, Washington?

Saturday night, Planet Washington celebrates this madness with a special parody of — Can You Feel The LOvE Tonight?  The song from the Lyin’ King.