Monthly Archives: January 2013

Appearances

* * * Last Show Before HBO * * * Ken Rynne, 'Planet Washington' * * *

Two live shows in our DC cabaret setting will be videotaped for later distribution! So smile. February 16 and Mar 9, 7:30-9:00 pm, The Westin 1400 M Street NW DC (2d floor Fireplace Room). $20

Tickets: 202 360 5056 Tom

Ninety minutes of fun story telling, musical parody, and great music from a Washington insider Ken Rynne and sidekick and piano accompanist Frank Plummer in an intimate cabaret setting.

Upcoming Shows

* * * Last Show Before HBO * * * Ken Rynne, ‘Planet Washington’ * * *

Two live shows in our DC cabaret setting will be videotaped for later distribution! So smile. February 16 and Mar 9, 7:30-9:00 pm, The Westin 1400 M Street NW DC (2d floor Fireplace Room). $20

Tickets: 202 360 5056 Tom

Ninety minutes of fun story telling, musical parody, and great music from a Washington insider Ken Rynne and sidekick and piano accompanist Frank Plummer in an intimate cabaret setting.

CDs & Gift Shop Parodies

New in our Gift Shop! The Beast. The Presidential Limo That Thinks It's A Tank

New in our Gift Shop! The perfect souvenir of your trip to Planet Washington: ‘The Beast.’ The Presidential state car is the official state car used by the President of the United States. The most recent vehicle to be customized as the presidential car is a Chevrolet Kodiak-based, Cadillac-badged limousine often referred to as Cadillac One and occasionally as Limo One (a reference to the U.S. presidential aircraft, Air Force One) or as The Beast.

The 2009 limousine makes its debut in the 2009 inaugural parade, guarded by Secret Service agents. On both domestic and foreign trips, the limousine is transported in a C-17 Globemaster III (sold separately).

According to the manufacturer, General Motors, the 2009 presidential limousine, based on the Cadillac DTS, is the first not to carry a specific model name. The vehicle’s outward appearance carries many current Cadillac styling themes, but does not resemble any particular production vehicle. The body itself seems to be a modification of the immediately previous DTS-badged Presidential limousines, but the vehicle’s chassis and driveline are sourced from the Chevrolet Kodiak commercial truck. Many body components are sourced from a variety of Cadillac vehicles; for example, the car uses Cadillac Escalade headlights, side mirrors and door handles. The tail of the car seems to use the taillights and back up lights from the Cadillac STS sedan.

Although a price tag has not been announced, each limousine is assumed to cost US $300,000. (If you have to ask, fugetaboudit!)


The Secret Service refers to the heavily armored vehicle as The Beast. Most details of the car are classified for security reasons. (You don’t want your hometown rivals in Shelbyville to know all about your wheels do you?) A special night vision system is in a secret location. Special loops replace the stock door handles; agents hold on to them when running alongside the car. Goodyear run-flat tires fit into extra-large wheel wells. The car is sealed against biochemical attacks. (insert Taco Bell joke here) Kept in the trunk is a blood bank of the President’s blood type. (or vodka)
The car can seat seven people, including the president. The front seats two, and includes a console-mounted communications center (or X-box). A glass partition divides the front from back. Three rear-facing seats are in the back, with cushions that are able to fold over the partition. The two rear seats are reserved for the president and another passenger; these seats have the ability to recline individually. A folding desk is between the two rear seats. Storage compartments in the interior panels of the car contain communications equipment which is called the Limousine Control Package and is operated by the White House Communication Agency. (Or your secretary or spouse). This is the voice and data device that links the vehicle to the WHCA Roadrunner at the rear of the motorcade allowing command and control (or “C2″) functions to be performed from the limo. The trunk lid has five antennas. (Four are for show) The car is driven by a highly trained Secret Service agent (or your brother in law) who is capable of performing a J-turn. This maneuver, taught at the Secret Service training facility outside Washington D.C., can turn the limo 180 degrees in matter of seconds to escape any trouble. The President’s lead protective agent (or your wife) usually sits in the front passenger seat.

On domestic trips, vehicles carrying the president display the American and Presidential Standard flags, which are illuminated by directional flood lights mounted on the hood. When the President performs a state visit to a foreign country, the Presidential Standard is replaced by the foreign country’s flag. (or favorite sports team pennants) The limousine is airlifted for domestic and international use primarily by a U.S. Air Force C-17 Globemaster III. (good luck with that)

The vehicle fuel efficiency is about 8 miles per US gallon (29 L/100 km; 9.6 mpg-imp). (hahahaha, like you care)

FYI. The motorcade. When the president travels out of town, his motorcade has consisted of about 45 vehicles. While the limousine itself is maintained by the Secret Service, motorcade support vehicles are maintained by the White House Military Office. You may want to check with your friends and relatives about forming a motorcade to Walmart or the monster truck rally to give you the full effect back home after purchasing The Beast!

CDs & Gift Shop Funny Stuff

New in our Gift Shop! The Beast. The Presidential Limo That Thinks It’s A Tank

New in our Gift Shop! The perfect souvenir of your trip to Planet Washington: ‘The Beast.’ The Presidential state car is the official state car used by the President of the United States. The most recent vehicle to be customized as the presidential car is a Chevrolet Kodiak-based, Cadillac-badged limousine often referred to as Cadillac One and occasionally as Limo One (a reference to the U.S. presidential aircraft, Air Force One) or as The Beast.

The 2009 limousine makes its debut in the 2009 inaugural parade, guarded by Secret Service agents. On both domestic and foreign trips, the limousine is transported in a C-17 Globemaster III (sold separately).

According to the manufacturer, General Motors, the 2009 presidential limousine, based on the Cadillac DTS, is the first not to carry a specific model name. The vehicle’s outward appearance carries many current Cadillac styling themes, but does not resemble any particular production vehicle. The body itself seems to be a modification of the immediately previous DTS-badged Presidential limousines, but the vehicle’s chassis and driveline are sourced from the Chevrolet Kodiak commercial truck. Many body components are sourced from a variety of Cadillac vehicles; for example, the car uses Cadillac Escalade headlights, side mirrors and door handles. The tail of the car seems to use the taillights and back up lights from the Cadillac STS sedan.

Although a price tag has not been announced, each limousine is assumed to cost US $300,000. (If you have to ask, fugetaboudit!)


The Secret Service refers to the heavily armored vehicle as The Beast. Most details of the car are classified for security reasons. (You don’t want your hometown rivals in Shelbyville to know all about your wheels do you?) A special night vision system is in a secret location. Special loops replace the stock door handles; agents hold on to them when running alongside the car. Goodyear run-flat tires fit into extra-large wheel wells. The car is sealed against biochemical attacks. (insert Taco Bell joke here) Kept in the trunk is a blood bank of the President’s blood type. (or vodka)
The car can seat seven people, including the president. The front seats two, and includes a console-mounted communications center (or X-box). A glass partition divides the front from back. Three rear-facing seats are in the back, with cushions that are able to fold over the partition. The two rear seats are reserved for the president and another passenger; these seats have the ability to recline individually. A folding desk is between the two rear seats. Storage compartments in the interior panels of the car contain communications equipment which is called the Limousine Control Package and is operated by the White House Communication Agency. (Or your secretary or spouse). This is the voice and data device that links the vehicle to the WHCA Roadrunner at the rear of the motorcade allowing command and control (or “C2″) functions to be performed from the limo. The trunk lid has five antennas. (Four are for show) The car is driven by a highly trained Secret Service agent (or your brother in law) who is capable of performing a J-turn. This maneuver, taught at the Secret Service training facility outside Washington D.C., can turn the limo 180 degrees in matter of seconds to escape any trouble. The President’s lead protective agent (or your wife) usually sits in the front passenger seat.

On domestic trips, vehicles carrying the president display the American and Presidential Standard flags, which are illuminated by directional flood lights mounted on the hood. When the President performs a state visit to a foreign country, the Presidential Standard is replaced by the foreign country’s flag. (or favorite sports team pennants) The limousine is airlifted for domestic and international use primarily by a U.S. Air Force C-17 Globemaster III. (good luck with that)

The vehicle fuel efficiency is about 8 miles per US gallon (29 L/100 km; 9.6 mpg-imp). (hahahaha, like you care)

FYI. The motorcade. When the president travels out of town, his motorcade has consisted of about 45 vehicles. While the limousine itself is maintained by the Secret Service, motorcade support vehicles are maintained by the White House Military Office. You may want to check with your friends and relatives about forming a motorcade to Walmart or the monster truck rally to give you the full effect back home after purchasing The Beast!

Appearances

Embassy Row Welcomes Planet Washington

Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne Explained Washington, DC in mirth and song to members of the Diplomatic Corps and other people who know John Kerry’s direct dial on the eve of President Obama’s 2d Inauguration. They laughed, they sang along, and gave us better than a diplomatic reception.

Parodies

Monday, Hillary Survives Enemy Fire North and South of The Capitol. Tuesday, Defense Department Lifts Ban on Women in Combat.

Coincidence? We think NOT!

Parodies

Did Beyonce Lip Sync Planet Washington Parody?

Ken Rynne (& Beyonce) have done it again! Our tribute to the 44th President of these somewhat United States unveiled at our Inauguration Eve Show.
Ken sang ‘Barack in the Saddle Again’ live! Beyonce did not lip sync nor did she perform live at the New Hampshire Avenue venue. We hope this will stop the rumors and many press inquiries. We can only hope.

Barack in the Saddle Again
Parody of Gene Autrey & Ray Whitley’s Back in the Saddle Again (1939). Parody by Ken Rynne. As not sung by Beyonce

Barack in the Saddle Again
Here where your dog is your friend
Where the bottom-feeders breed
And the Westerners smoke weed (inhale!!!)
Barack in the saddle again

Ridin’ the range once more
Totin’ my old .44
(If your background check is done
And you’re over 21)
Barack in the saddle again

Whoopi-ty-aye-oh
Eric Canter’s got to go
Back in the saddle again
Whoopi-ty-aye-yay
Joe Biden’s here to stay (It’s a Big F@ckin Deal!)
Barack in the saddle again

Our next live pubic show: Feb 16, The Westin Hotel,
1400 M Street, NW, Washington, DC.

Parodies

Planet Washington: Proud to be a part of Mark Russell's America

PBS recently aired a 60 minute special MARK RUSSELL’S AMERICA – Mark Russell’s greatest hits over decades of TV specials spoofing Warren G. Harding through Barack Obama. Ask your local PBS station to rebroadcast it.

Although maestro Russell is retired from public performances, he maintains a lively blog on current events at www.markrussell.net

Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne continues the tradition of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable in quip and song at The Westin Washington DC City Center on M Street – and wherever two or three are gathered – with cash.

Appearances

Planet Washington: Proud to be a part of Mark Russell’s America

PBS recently aired a 60 minute special MARK RUSSELL’S AMERICA – Mark Russell’s greatest hits over decades of TV specials spoofing Warren G. Harding through Barack Obama. Ask your local PBS station to rebroadcast it.

Although maestro Russell is retired from public performances, he maintains a lively blog on current events at www.markrussell.net

Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne continues the tradition of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable in quip and song at The Westin Washington DC City Center on M Street – and wherever two or three are gathered – with cash.

Parodies

Barack in the Saddle Again: 4 More Jeers!!!

Inauguration Weekend PLANET WASHINGTON will be doing its part to ring out the old, and ring in … the old, as the Obama Administration begins a second term and ‘FORWARD Again’ resounds throughout the nation’s Capital City. Private parties will keep us busy comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable in our own little contribution to our great democracy.

Our NEXT PUBLIC SHOW will be FEBRUARY 16 at THE WESTIN. 1400 M Street NW DC at 7:30 pm. when we commmemorate Luv Guv Eliot Spitzer’s Valentine’s Day visit to the Mayflower Hotel and celebrate other infamous Washington lovers who aspire to the title The Great Philanderer! It’s a crowded field friends!