And Then There Were 2 – Rick Santorum Suspends Campaign: Vows to Rise Again In 3 Days

Breaking News Alert
SANTORUM SUSPENDS CAMPAIGN:
VOWS TO RISE AGAIN IN THREE DAYS!!!

Santorum Suspends His Campaign, 2 Disciples Say

… Rick Santorum the Blessed is suspending his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination on Tuesday, according to two disciples with knowledge of his plans.

Mr. Santorum is due to make the announcement near his birthplace Bethlehem, PA. He attend a wedding last night where he turned wine into water, and made one blind man lame by several accounts. Rumors of a relationship with Mary Magdalene, a supporter, were discounted by campaign disciples. Insiders suggest that He expected to be crucified at the polls.

The decision abruptly ends his quest for the Republican presidential nomination after weeks in which his campaign struggled to compete with Mitt Romney Inc’s well-financed, highly-organized campBain corporation.

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