WalMart Opens in DC? Shop There. Work There. What Next?

BREAKING NEWS: (Washington, DC) — With much fanfare it was announced that Wal Mart will donate $3 Million to train DC residents to fill 2,000 JOBS in its yet-to-be-built stores in the District of Columbia.  Mom & Pop  local merchants are not that impressed  BUT this will make Wal Mart, already the nation’s largest private employer, the largest employer in DC (non-government, non-lobbyist, non-bartender employer in DC) !!!

So don a smily face and grab a cart!!!

Welcome WalMart !  We shop there!  We work there!  What next?


‘United States of Wal Mart’

Parody of Under the Boardwalk

By Ken Rynne   © 2005-2011 Brighton Productions

When I need a shovel or a brand new suit of clothes,

There is one-stop shopping in a place that everybody knows.

I shop at Wal Mart, to buy my teddys, tools, or tires.

At the snack bar with my baby that’s where I’ll be.

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for shoes and socks,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for watches and clocks,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for crackers and cheese,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for my BVDs,

I go to Wal Mart, Wal Mart.

When the plant shut down, they moved production overseas,

I got a job in sales, I sell imported clothes and cheap TVs.

Now I work at Wal Mart, where I sell cameras and VCRs,

If it ain’t made in China well that’s news to me.

[All: I go to Wal Mart] to buy a phone,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for a sub prime loan,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for a new backpack,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for my Prozac,

I go to Wal Mart, Wal Mart.

When I fell behind they took my credit cards and house away,

I searched in vain for a decent place for me, my dog, my kids, and wife to stay.

Now I live at Wal Mart, between the housewares and the sporting goods,

Cookin breakfast on the Coleman, that’s  where I’ll be.

[All: I live at Wal Mart] seven / twenty-four,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] park right by the door,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] got a photo place,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] I wear a smiley face,

I live at Wal Mart, Wal Mart!


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  • March 20, 2015 - 3:55 pm | Permalink

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