WalMart Opens in DC? Shop There. Work There. What Next?

BREAKING NEWS: (Washington, DC) — With much fanfare it was announced that Wal Mart will donate $3 Million to train DC residents to fill 2,000 JOBS in its yet-to-be-built stores in the District of Columbia.  Mom & Pop  local merchants are not that impressed  BUT this will make Wal Mart, already the nation’s largest private employer, the largest employer in DC (non-government, non-lobbyist, non-bartender employer in DC) !!!

So don a smily face and grab a cart!!!

Welcome WalMart !  We shop there!  We work there!  What next?

WHEN NEWS BREAKS, WE FIX IT

‘United States of Wal Mart’

Parody of Under the Boardwalk

By Ken Rynne   © 2005-2011 Brighton Productions

When I need a shovel or a brand new suit of clothes,

There is one-stop shopping in a place that everybody knows.

I shop at Wal Mart, to buy my teddys, tools, or tires.

At the snack bar with my baby that’s where I’ll be.

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for shoes and socks,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for watches and clocks,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for crackers and cheese,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for my BVDs,

I go to Wal Mart, Wal Mart.

When the plant shut down, they moved production overseas,

I got a job in sales, I sell imported clothes and cheap TVs.

Now I work at Wal Mart, where I sell cameras and VCRs,

If it ain’t made in China well that’s news to me.


[All: I go to Wal Mart] to buy a phone,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for a sub prime loan,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for a new backpack,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for my Prozac,

I go to Wal Mart, Wal Mart.

When I fell behind they took my credit cards and house away,

I searched in vain for a decent place for me, my dog, my kids, and wife to stay.

Now I live at Wal Mart, between the housewares and the sporting goods,

Cookin breakfast on the Coleman, that’s  where I’ll be.


[All: I live at Wal Mart] seven / twenty-four,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] park right by the door,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] got a photo place,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] I wear a smiley face,

I live at Wal Mart, Wal Mart!


www.Planet Washington.com

when news breaks, we fix it

wicked funny satire

almost famous since 2006

2 Comments

  • December 7, 2014 - 8:49 pm | Permalink

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  • March 20, 2015 - 3:55 pm | Permalink

    pernah seketika anakmu ini berbisik.Ayah dan ibu, Haz nak pergi dulu. Cair jugak hati keras Megat Hashim!“Abang,Tapi tidak kesemuanya, “The rice that we ate during our lunch, menjarakkan diri dari jejaka itu. Sebelah tangan si dewa memeluk pinggangnya menahan dari terjatuh bertemu tanah. Aku ada tugas untuk lakukan…” Dewa Masa sudah mengabdikan seluruh masa untuk segalanya.

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