Monthly Archives: August 2011

Audio mp3 CDs & Gift Shop Parodies

When Muammar Met Condi

BREAKING (CREEPY) NEWS: Photo Album of Condi Found in Gaddafi’s Lair.  Among the many bizarre items uncovered as Libyan rebels ransacked Muammar Gaddafi’s Tripoli compound: an album filled with photos of former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

The discovery was perhaps not surprising given Gaddafi’s much-professed admiration of the former U.S. Secretary of State, MSNBC is noting. “I support my darling black African woman,” Gaddafi told al-Jazeera television in 2007, according to The Guardian.

“I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders…Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. I love her very much. I admire her and I’m proud of her because she’s a black woman of African origin.”

WE FIX IT!  He may be a tyrant, a despot, and a creep – but he has a good eye for the classy lady who warned us about yhose threatening mushroom clouds!!!  I remember her dalliance with the foreign minister of Canadia….lik it was just yesterday…

Condoleeza (Parody of Mona Lisa)

Condoleeza condoleeza / George Bush named you / To be the first of diplomats at State

Is it only cause you’re lonely / they have blamed you? / For that dominatrix cadence in your gait?

Do you smile to tempt a lover, Condoleeza? / Or is this your diplomatic way to hide?

Many suitors have been brought to Foggy Bottom/ They just lie there / and they die there

Are you warm, are you real, Condoleeza? / Or just a Ferragamo-sporting work of art?

___

Now they say a foreign minister you’re seeing

Will Canadian bacon “cure” / your lonely heart?

Will you now expand bilateral relations / Canoodling on weekends, and vacations,

Are you warm, are you real Condoleeza, /   Or just a pianoforte playing worl of art?

Condoleeza?  Condoleeza?

Parodies

5.8 Earthquake Rocks DC

A rare East Coast earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale rocked DC today.  There was minimal damage except that oddly, the RNC Headquarters now leans left.

In related news, it was determined that the epicenter of the quake was 8o miles southweat of the Capital in central Virginia – identified as the Spottsylvania fault.  However, Rep. Michele Bachmann was quick to identify the cause as Obama’s fault.

One experienced Californian sniffed that a 5.8 quake gives off less vibration than his cell phone.  It was not clear at press time whether Washington, DC would be declared a disaster  – redundant.

Some Democrats saw the glass as half-full and immediately called for another  Stimulus package funded by a new earthquake tax.  Only in Washington.

This being 21st Century America, a new 12-step support group was formed, ESA, Earthquake Survivors Anonymous, for survivors and others with post-trauma issues.

Aide from Japan is expected imminently.

Parodies

Choose YOUR News: Shores of Tripoli Edition

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE LIBYAN STORY OF THE DAY

#1. Kumba-ya in Lib-ya!

End Near For Libyan Dictatoras Anti-Gaddafi rebels, Anti-Kadaffi rebels, & Anti-Quaddafi rebels Unite Forces After Realizing They Have Been Fighting Same Tyrant All Along!

#2. Guards Gone Wild

Navy Seals to Battle Gaddafi’s Infamous All-Female Amazonian Guard

Tonight on The Learning Channel

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#3. A Bounce in the Polls!

Libya Liberation A “Job Killer.“ Rep. Michele Bachmann Demands Return of Ka-Daffy to Trampoline

OR THE SLEEPER:

#4. Exit By The Gift Shop.

Artist Without Borders Lends a Hand To Anti- Gaddafi Surge

Parodies

Libyan Liberation a "Jobs Killer" – Michelle Bachmann

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Tin Foil) has charged the Obama Administration with ‘killing jobs’ in offering aide to rebels opposing the Libyan ruler.  She has called for the return of Col. Gaddafi to the capital city of “Trampoline.”

Funny Stuff

Libyan Liberation a “Jobs Killer” – Michelle Bachmann

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Tin Foil) has charged the Obama Administration with ‘killing jobs’ in offering aide to rebels opposing the Libyan ruler.  She has called for the return of Col. Gaddafi to the capital city of “Trampoline.”

Parodies

Navy Seals To Face Gaddafi Body Guard

US Navy Seals anticipate facing Colonel Gaddafi’s infamous all-female body guard, dubbed The Amazonian Guard, as they fight the final battle for Tripoli.  A video of the contest, ‘Guards Gone Wild,’ is available for pre-order on The Learning Channel ($19.95).

Parodies

Former IMF Chief Strauss-Kahn Files to Dismiss Charges

Accused Maid Molester Strauss-Kahn Files to Dismiss Charges For LACK OF EVIDENCE. “It’s no big thing,” he admitted in pleadings.

Parodies

End is Near For Libyan Tyrant As Anti-Quaddafi, Anti-Kaddafi, Anti-Gaddafi Forces Unite!

Muammar Gaddafi is nowhere to be seen, but his era is over

Libyan rebels arrest three of his sons but dictator has ‘no means of leaving Tripoli’, says former prime minister.  It was clear that the end was near for the tyrant who has ruled this North African nation for 42 years once several rebel groups in the anti-Gaddafi movement, the popular anti-Kaddafi liberation front, and the  break away anti-Quadaffi Tea militia realized their common enemy and joined forces with the support of France, the United States, and the International Coalition of the Embarrassed.

Winner of ‘So You Think You Can Parody A Dictator’ Contest sposored by Graffiti & Caricature Artists Against Gad-Daffy expresses popular outrage in an homage to Exit Through The Gift Shop.

Parodies

WalMart Opens in DC? Shop There. Work There. What Next?

BREAKING NEWS: (Washington, DC) — With much fanfare it was announced that Wal Mart will donate $3 Million to train DC residents to fill 2,000 JOBS in its yet-to-be-built stores in the District of Columbia.  Mom & Pop  local merchants are not that impressed  BUT this will make Wal Mart, already the nation’s largest private employer, the largest employer in DC (non-government, non-lobbyist, non-bartender employer in DC) !!!

So don a smily face and grab a cart!!!

Welcome WalMart !  We shop there!  We work there!  What next?

WHEN NEWS BREAKS, WE FIX IT

‘United States of Wal Mart’

Parody of Under the Boardwalk

By Ken Rynne   © 2005-2011 Brighton Productions

When I need a shovel or a brand new suit of clothes,

There is one-stop shopping in a place that everybody knows.

I shop at Wal Mart, to buy my teddys, tools, or tires.

At the snack bar with my baby that’s where I’ll be.

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for shoes and socks,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for watches and clocks,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for crackers and cheese,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for my BVDs,

I go to Wal Mart, Wal Mart.

When the plant shut down, they moved production overseas,

I got a job in sales, I sell imported clothes and cheap TVs.

Now I work at Wal Mart, where I sell cameras and VCRs,

If it ain’t made in China well that’s news to me.


[All: I go to Wal Mart] to buy a phone,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for a sub prime loan,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for a new backpack,

[All: I go to Wal Mart] for my Prozac,

I go to Wal Mart, Wal Mart.

When I fell behind they took my credit cards and house away,

I searched in vain for a decent place for me, my dog, my kids, and wife to stay.

Now I live at Wal Mart, between the housewares and the sporting goods,

Cookin breakfast on the Coleman, that’s  where I’ll be.


[All: I live at Wal Mart] seven / twenty-four,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] park right by the door,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] got a photo place,

[All: I live at Wal Mart] I wear a smiley face,

I live at Wal Mart, Wal Mart!


www.Planet Washington.com

when news breaks, we fix it

wicked funny satire

almost famous since 2006

Parodies

I'm Shocked! Shocked to Find Gambling Going On Here!

This just in from a friend at the National Press Club —

 

BREAKING NEWS: DC Drinks! (Washington, DC)  A new report says adults in Washington, D.C. abuse alcohol more than anyone else in the country.  According to a new study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), 8.1 percent of adults age 26 or older in D.C. are ‘alcohol dependent.’  Looking at a long-term sampling, alcohol abuse rate is on the rise for the District, according to the survey.

 

 

 

 

 

Planet Washington — When news breaks, we fix it

 

For the gang at The Reliable Source (that’s the bar at the National Press Club)

DC-ritaville @ The Reliable Source Margaritaville Parody by Ken Rynne

Nibblin on nachos/ Waitin for tacos/ Now my damn shirt is covered with oil/

Just met my deadline/Tequila would be fine / Summer’s so hot I’m startin to boil.

Wastin away again in DC-ritaville / Tryin to get stoned without an assault

Some people claim that it’s OBAMA to blame / But I know it’s nobodys fault

I don’t know the reason / The NATS lost last season

Nothin to show but this brand new tattoo/ But it’s a real beauty

A WEINER-TWEET cutie / How it got here I haven’t a clue

Wastin away again in DC-ritaville / Tryin to get stoned without an assault

Some people claim that it’s BOEHNER to blame / But I know it’s nobodys fault

I blew out my SHARPIE/ Got Crap from some Harpie

Cut my heel had to cruise on back home

But there’s booze in the blender / And soon it will render

That frozen concoction that helps me hang on

Wastin away again in DC-ritaville / Tryin to get stoned without an assault

Some people claim that it’s McCONNELL to blame / But I know it’s nobodys fault

Yes and some people claim that it is CANTOR to blame

But I know — it’s NORQUIST’S fault

www.PlanetWashington.com

when news breaks, we fix it