Monthly Archives: May 2011

Audience Reactions Healing with Humor Rave Reviews TV

“If laughter is the best medicine, then Ken Rynne is a one-man Mayo Clinic.” – NewsHour’s Mark Shields

After seeing Planet Washington’s show with his lovely wife Anne, Mark said – for the record -

“If laughter is still the best medicine, then Ken Rynne is a one-man Mayo Clinic.”

 

Parodies

Bin Laden Dead: Sarah Palin Praises SEALS

In the early morning of 2 May 2011 local time, a team of 40 CIA-led SEALs successfully completed an operation to kill Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan about 35 miles (56 km) from Islamabad, the country’s capital.

The Navy SEALs were part of the Naval Special Warfare Development Group, previously called “Team 6″ based in Dam Neck, VA.

The unprecedented media coverage raised the public profile of the SEAL community, particularly the counter-terrorism specialists commonly known as SEAL Team 6.

Disney rushed to trademark the SEAL Team 6 name 3 May, the day after the bin Laden raid, the same day Former Governor Palin rushed out with some herring for this photo somewhere in Alaaaeeeska.

Parodies

OPRAH Ready For Last Show, Guest: Jesus

‘Live Your Best Life,’ the final episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” will air on Wednesday – after 5,000 episodes.

Oprah Winfrey, who has reigned as day time’s talk show queen since 1986, is ready for it to end. With only three more episodes to air and one more episode to tape, viewers and advertisers aren’t seeing the end quite the same way.

Oprah plans on hosting a new show with a less demanding schedule next year on her own cable network, OWN.  Poet Maya Angalou read a new poem about Oprah Winfrey to Oprah during the taping of “Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Show.

“Like my final guest, I am not going away, I’m just changing,” she said. “I’m just creating another platform for myself, which eventually will be wider and broader than what I have now.”

While many are skeptical of her cable network, the New York Times says Oprah has always followed her convictions, like J.C.  She refused to follow the new day time talk show trend in the 1990s to theme her episodes around cheating spouses, paternity results and other tabloid topics and instead insisted on a show about “living your best life.”

Oprah has had a lot of special visitors for her final season, but is still wondering what she will say during her final episode.  Monday and Tuesdays show, “Surprise, Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular,” was taped last week in front of an audience of 13,000. Her final show will be at her Chicago studio.

“Where will you be?” is the big question commercials advertising the final episode are asking viewers.

Rivaling the Super Bowl, advertisers have paid $1 million for 30 seconds of commercial time for Oprah’s finale.

“The Oprah Winfrey Show” began in 1986 as an expansion of a local talk show, “AM Chicago.” Her first episode was titled, “How to Marry the Man/Woman of Your Choice.”

IN the beginning, “I was just producing by the seat of my pantyhose,” Winfrey told the New York Times. Covering as many topics as one could think of, she’s discussed religion, politics, drug abuse, homosexuality, and of course, race and weight loss, and weight loss, and weight loss.

Now, viewers can only look forward to her grand finale and hopefully catch her ‘second coming’ on OWN.

This will be Jesus’ first appearance on OPRAH.  Topics will include, religion, politics, The Rapture, and of course, weight loss.

“But don’t forget who’s takin’ you home /And in whose house you’re gonna be/ So Oprah make the last guest be me”


Parodies

The Rapture Explained: In The Dick Van Dyke Show

How we felt waiting for The Rapture...

[Sally, Buddy, Rob and Laura are staying in a haunted cabin, all four are in the same bed because they are scared of the ghost]

Rob Petrie: It’s been over two hours and nothing strange or unusual has happened.

Sally Rogers: Oh, really? What do you call four grown people sleeping in the same bed with their clothes on?

[Laura: Oh Rooooooobbbbbbbb!!!!!!]

Parodies

DC's Newest Monument: The Great Philanderers

POLITICO Nails it! After a week in which the Senate Ethics Committee issued a report on Nevada Senator Ensign’s adultery and California Governor Schwartzaneger acknowledged his adultery, the latest in a long bipartisan line of men thinking with their ‘staffs.’

POLITICO’S graphic editorialist M. WUERKING of Wuerking Drawing, nailed it!

A new statue on the Capital Mall of a man signaling thumbs-up, all is well, with his head up his, ah, [hint: 3 across, where a proctologist works], on the Mall, with the names Clinton, Gingrich, Edwards, Spitzer, Ensign, Schwa- visible on the base. Caption: One tourist says to another: High Time Washington Built A Monument To It! M. WUERKING!  We @ PLANET WASHINGTON are inspired!

PlanetWashington.com when news breaks, we fix it

THE  GREAT PHILANDERER Parody of The Pretender © 2011 Ken Rynne

O YES, I’M THE GREAT PHILAND’RER,/ALL POWERFUL, YES, I’M DOING WELL, / I’M MARRIED, IT’S SICK, BUT I THINK WITH MY – ‘GUT’ /AND MY CRITICS CAN ALL GO TO HELL.

OH YES, I’M THE GREAT PHILAND’RER / ADRIFT IN A WORLD OF MY OWN,/ RULES DON’T APPLY YOU SEE /GEE IT’S GREAT TO BE ME / BUT SINGLE MOMS AND THEIR ‘CHOICE’  – WE CAN’’T CONDONE.

TOO REAL IS THIS FEELING OF MAKE-BELIEVE / TOO REAL WHAT I FEEL TIL, THE MEDIA REVEALS.

OH YES, I’M THE GREAT PHILAND’RER, / SOME SAY THAT MY POWER WILL CORRUPT/ BUT A STATUE YOU SEE / THEY’RE ERECTING TO ME / A BIPARTISAN MALE IN A RUT/ THUMBS-UP, WITH HIS HEAD UP HIS BUTT!

(THE ONLY MONUMENT WITH A LITTLE GIFT SHOP – ‘ON THE SIDE’ – hawking copies of celebrity Marriage Certificates. FOR “MARRIAGERS.” Today’s Special:  Gingrich’s 3  marriage certificates for the price of 1). Marriage = One Man + One Woman (at One Time).  iTunes: Duet Arnold Schwarzenegger & IMF’s Dominique Strauss-Kahn “Everybody ought to have a Maid,” from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

Funny Stuff Parody

DC’s Newest Monument: The Great Philanderers

POLITICO Nails it! After a week in which the Senate Ethics Committee issued a report on Nevada Senator Ensign’s adultery and California Governor Schwartzaneger acknowledged his adultery, the latest in a long bipartisan line of men thinking with their ‘staffs.’

POLITICO’S graphic editorialist M. WUERKING of Wuerking Drawing, nailed it!

A new statue on the Capital Mall of a man signaling thumbs-up, all is well, with his head up his, ah, [hint: 3 across, where a proctologist works], on the Mall, with the names Clinton, Gingrich, Edwards, Spitzer, Ensign, Schwa- visible on the base. Caption: One tourist says to another: High Time Washington Built A Monument To It! M. WUERKING!  We @ PLANET WASHINGTON are inspired!

PlanetWashington.com when news breaks, we fix it

THE  GREAT PHILANDERER Parody of The Pretender © 2011 Ken Rynne

O YES, I’M THE GREAT PHILAND’RER,/ALL POWERFUL, YES, I’M DOING WELL, / I’M MARRIED, IT’S SICK, BUT I THINK WITH MY – ‘GUT’ /AND MY CRITICS CAN ALL GO TO HELL.

OH YES, I’M THE GREAT PHILAND’RER / ADRIFT IN A WORLD OF MY OWN,/ RULES DON’T APPLY YOU SEE /GEE IT’S GREAT TO BE ME / BUT SINGLE MOMS AND THEIR ‘CHOICE’  – WE CAN’’T CONDONE.

TOO REAL IS THIS FEELING OF MAKE-BELIEVE / TOO REAL WHAT I FEEL TIL, THE MEDIA REVEALS.

OH YES, I’M THE GREAT PHILAND’RER, / SOME SAY THAT MY POWER WILL CORRUPT/ BUT A STATUE YOU SEE / THEY’RE ERECTING TO ME / A BIPARTISAN MALE IN A RUT/ THUMBS-UP, WITH HIS HEAD UP HIS BUTT!

(THE ONLY MONUMENT WITH A LITTLE GIFT SHOP – ‘ON THE SIDE’ – hawking copies of celebrity Marriage Certificates. FOR “MARRIAGERS.” Today’s Special:  Gingrich’s 3  marriage certificates for the price of 1). Marriage = One Man + One Woman (at One Time).  iTunes: Duet Arnold Schwarzenegger & IMF’s Dominique Strauss-Kahn “Everybody ought to have a Maid,” from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

Parodies

Lipstick-Wearin'-Hockey-Mom-Wasilla’s-Sarah Palin

Lipstick-Wearin-Hockey-Mom-Wasilla’s-Sarah Palin

Back in ‘08 Republicans smirked that Barack Obama was “too inexperienced” to be president.

Then as we were leaving the Democratic National Convention, we watched in disbelief TV monitors at the Denver airport as John McCain announced his first presidential decision: his pick for VP.

You say “Maverick.” Some say “train wreck.” Well – he made our day!

Our favorite bumper sticker:
Sarah Palin for President 2012 – 2013.

Sarah Palin: “What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.”

At Planet Washington, when news breaks, we fix it.

(Tune: From Mary Poppins. Superfragilisticexpialidocious)

Chorus:
LIPSTICK WEARIN /HOCKEY MOM / WASILLA’S / SARAH PALIN
She Came Just In Time When JOHN MCCAIN’S Campaign Was Ailin’

A Small Town /Western Woman
WITH BIG TALK @ IMPALIN…

LIPSTICK WEARIN /HOCKEY MOM / WASILLA’S / SARAH PALIN
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay…

1. MAVRICK NEEDED TO MAKE SURE / HIS BASE WAS STAYIN WITH HIM

HE COULDN’T PICK JOE LIEBERMAN / THE RIGHT WOULD NOT PERMIT HIM

WHEN HILLARY DID NOT GET PICKED / MCCAIN LOOKED AT SOME WOMEN

A PRO-LIFE. PRO-GUN. PRO-GRAMMABLE / WOMAN SHORTER THAN HIM
(HE PICKED) Chorus.

2. REPUBLICANS WERE LOOKIN / FOR A LEADER TO BELIEVE IN

OBAMA WAS TOO POPULAR / REPUBLICANS WERE GRIEVIN

THE ONE BY ONE MALE CANDIDATES / EXPLODED & WERE LEAVIN’

WHICH LEFT / ONE CHOICE / FOR 20-12 /ONE PERSON TO / BELIEVE IN

(YOU BETCHA) Chorus.

©2008 Ken Rynne
www.PlanetWashington.com
when news breaks, we fix it

Funny Stuff Parody Think Piece

Lipstick-Wearin’-Hockey-Mom-Wasilla’s-Sarah Palin

Lipstick-Wearin-Hockey-Mom-Wasilla’s-Sarah Palin

Back in ‘08 Republicans smirked that Barack Obama was “too inexperienced” to be president.

Then as we were leaving the Democratic National Convention, we watched in disbelief TV monitors at the Denver airport as John McCain announced his first presidential decision: his pick for VP.

You say “Maverick.” Some say “train wreck.” Well – he made our day!

Our favorite bumper sticker:
Sarah Palin for President 2012 – 2013.

Sarah Palin: “What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.”

At Planet Washington, when news breaks, we fix it.

(Tune: From Mary Poppins. Superfragilisticexpialidocious)

Chorus:
LIPSTICK WEARIN /HOCKEY MOM / WASILLA’S / SARAH PALIN
She Came Just In Time When JOHN MCCAIN’S Campaign Was Ailin’

A Small Town /Western Woman
WITH BIG TALK @ IMPALIN…

LIPSTICK WEARIN /HOCKEY MOM / WASILLA’S / SARAH PALIN
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay…

1. MAVRICK NEEDED TO MAKE SURE / HIS BASE WAS STAYIN WITH HIM

HE COULDN’T PICK JOE LIEBERMAN / THE RIGHT WOULD NOT PERMIT HIM

WHEN HILLARY DID NOT GET PICKED / MCCAIN LOOKED AT SOME WOMEN

A PRO-LIFE. PRO-GUN. PRO-GRAMMABLE / WOMAN SHORTER THAN HIM
(HE PICKED) Chorus.

2. REPUBLICANS WERE LOOKIN / FOR A LEADER TO BELIEVE IN

OBAMA WAS TOO POPULAR / REPUBLICANS WERE GRIEVIN

THE ONE BY ONE MALE CANDIDATES / EXPLODED & WERE LEAVIN’

WHICH LEFT / ONE CHOICE / FOR 20-12 /ONE PERSON TO / BELIEVE IN

(YOU BETCHA) Chorus.

©2008 Ken Rynne
www.PlanetWashington.com
when news breaks, we fix it

Appearances Congressman Bud Noir

Congressman Bud Noir matches wits with Sarah Palin, McLean Drama Company, June 10-11-12

“She was accessorized like…a Halliburton no-bid contract!”

Bud Noir (Ken Rynne) spars with Caribou Barbie (MJ Bruno)

in a hilarious Planet Washington send up ofGarrison Keillor’s Guy Noir

as part of McLean Drama Company’s

7th Annual One-Act Play Festival.

Alden Theater
June 10  8pm;  June 11 8pm;  June 12 2:30p

www.McLeanDramaCompany.org

www.PlanetWashington.com
when news breaks we fix it

You betcha!