33 Chilean Gold Miners Rescued! Crowds Amazed as 34th Emerges – bin Laden! DC's Golddiggers the Salahis Join Welcoming Crowd

The world rejoiced as 33 miners trapped over a mile underground in a Chilean gold mine for 69 days – longer than anyone has survived below ground – emerged one-by-one to be greeted by weeping children, wives, fellow workers, The President and First Lady of Chile, their mistresses, known and unknown, media crews from everywhere including North Korea, al Jazeera, and DC’s peripatetic partiers and media hounds The Salahis.

Crowds were astonished to find – after the 33 miners emerged – that the winch signifying that the rescue pod Phoenix II started again its slow and steady pace – and out popped a 34th miner – Osama bin Laden with a new audio tape, ‘Goldladen.’

Reality TV worth watching — much better than the failed BP Spill in the US last season.

Oakley sunglasses won a product placement award for having each miner don its product as they emerged.

George W Bush won the Where’s Waldo award as he greeted the miners with a warm “Mission Accomplished” and a back slap, for confusing the Chilean flag for that of his adopted state of Texas )as any Texan will tell you, he was born in New Haven, CT).

Lou Dobbs was runner-up for welcoming the 33 back to work on his horse farm greeting each with a “Mi yama es Luis” in his rich baritone.

Media outlets filled the hours between rescues with innane commentary on US mine disasters. Consistent with American news outlets, which specialize in political horse races and eschew issues, like how to reemploy millions out of work, nothing was learned bout Chile, its people, its history, American relations with, or the fact that it produces 55% of the world’s copper, or other facts about the nation or continent. But viewers of MSNBSC did get to hear quite a bit from two guys who spent 3 days underground once – Lawrence O’Donnell preferred to count the time in hours – 72 – although the count in minutes and seconds I am told is even more impressive. “Yeah, Lawrence, we got out, went home, took a shower, and went to bed.” “Did a little minin’ with the missus if you catch ma’ drift.” All I can say is, “thank you for that authentic frontier gibberish”. -Mel Brooks. GOP Ad makers in W VA were looking for these guests to star in their next attack ad.

There has not been such excitement about trapped minors since Roman Polanski’s pool party! (rim-shot!)
Good night everybody!

Reality TV worth watching.

We’ll be at Harriet’s in DC, Friday Night 8:30

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