Monthly Archives: June 2010

Parodies

Oh, Elena Kagan!

ELENA KAGAN

Parody of “Oh, Pretty Woman”

by Ken Rynne

See, Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, 510 U.S. 569 (1994) established that a commercial parody can qualify as fair use of copyrighted material. (The “Pretty Woman” case)

“Pretty Woman” Julia Roberts is sooo 1990.  Today’s woman is sexy smart!  Obama’s latest Supreme Court nominee was on everyone’s short list.  And now we see why…

Elena Kagan, walking down the street

ELENA KAGAN, just above 4 feet 

ELENA KAGAN

I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth

No one could BE AS…wicked SMART — as you

Mercy

ELENA KAGAN, won’t you pardon me

ELENA KAGAN, I could not help see

ELENA KAGAN

That your IQ / is high as / can be

Are you NERDY just like me

HEH-HEH-HEH

ELENA KAGAN, stop a while

ELANA KAGAN, talk a while

ELENA, read your talking points to me

ELENA KAGAN , yeah yeah yeah

ELENA KAGAN, look my way

ELENA KAGAN, say you’ll concur with me

‘Cause I need you, I’ll treat you right

Come with me baby, grant cert. tonight

Elena Kagan, don’t walk on by

Elena Kagan, don’t make me cry

Elena Kagan, don’t walk away, hey…okay

If that’s the way it must be, okay

I guess I’ll go on home, it’s late

There’ll be tomorrow night, but wait

What do I see

Is “shorty” walking back to me

Yeah, she’s walking back to me

Oh, oh, Elena Kagan!

Parodies

Showdown! Wall Street vs. Pennsylvania Ave

DERIVATIVES FOR DUMMIES.

The Congressional showdown on the proposed financial regulation of  Wall Street “derivative swaps” — separating them from bank funds insured by you and me, leaving them “at risk” for the investors (gamblers) who use them – is TODAY.  

Senator Blanche Lincoln (D-Arkansas) proposes to put them in a separate uninsured “piggy bank” altogether (Section 716).  Rep. Barney Frank (D- Mass.) proposes to put them in a separate jar in the insured piggy bank. I am paraphrasing here.

Kids!  Here’s your chance to show grown ups how to make banks safer. Math is too hard for so many of them.

#1. Help Barney Find Section 716! OK?

#2. Blanche has it!

#3. If Barney and Blanche agree — then your piggy bank will be safer, and risky gamblers have to gamble with their own money not yours, OK?,

and we can all sing “I love you, You love me, We have a safe economy.” OK?

Remember the S&L Crisis? No? Nobody else does either.

GROUP HUG!

Parodies

Arizona: The Borderline Musical!

Hil: Arizona can’t just legislate in foreign affairs and immigration law!
Here’s why: 

AZ Citizenship Quiz
   

For County Sheriffs catching suspects – like sentry posts during WWII – “Who is Joe Dimagio?” “Rita Heyworth?
We have obtained an Arizona County Sheriffs spot “citizenship quiz” – sure to identify real Americans: 1. We all know Senator John McCain. Who is Arizona’s OTHER Senator? 2. How many homes does John McCain own? 6 5 10 3. John McCain is a Maverick. True or False.
Teach Your Children Well
Arizonans may know what they’re doing. If the Navajo had stepped up THEIR homeland security – they would still own Phoenix and John McCain would be a pit boss at the Lucky Cowpoke Casino!
Set it to music!
Arizona – The Borderline Musical
ARIZONA (PARODY OF Oklahoma!) Lyrics by OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN II Music by RICHARD RODGERS Parody by KEN RYNNE
ARIZONA, WHERE YOUR LIFE CAN BE A LIVING HELL
IF YOUR NAME’S JOSE, AND BY THE WAY
THEY ARE CLOSING EV’RY TACO BELL!!!
ARIZONA, YOUR APPEARANCE COULD MAKE YOU PRISON BOUND
IF YOU’RE IN A CAR, YOU WON’T GO FAR
IF THEY STOP YOU “DRIVING WHI-LE BROWN!!!”
SAY A-DIOS, TO LIBERTY
THEY CAN STOP YOU LIKE THEY DID IN GERMANY (PAPERS PLEASE!)
THE BILL OF RIGHTS ——HEY – FORGET IT
WELL THEY MIGHT ——–HEY – JUST SHRED IT
SAYIN YOU’RE DOIN FINE ARIZONA
YOU’RE A PUNCH LINE ON LATE NIGHT TV!!!
(German tune: ARIZONA UBER ALLES!!!)

 

Parodies

The Peasants ARE Revolting

Foot In Mouth – Part Deux

And just as one “ker-fuffle” was dying down after BP’s chief Executive Officer – in a rather aristocratic British accent (like Geico’s Gekko actually, “save money?”) said he “wanted to get his life back.”  Just as that was dying down, did you hear what happened yesterday?

 Yesterday, his boss, BP’s Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg – apparently a Norwegian who sounds curiously like Major (“Papers Please!!!) Strasser from Casablanca – trying to assure Gulf residents said that even though BP’s corporatuon is bigger than yours! – that BP “cares about —–[wait for it] SMALL PEOPLE.”   Ouch! 

Late last night Herr Svanberg issued an explanation from his limo as he arrived at his suite high atop at the Helmsley Palace! (where only little people pay taxes) Lighten up!  Have a herring…packed in oil. Oh sheist! not again!!!

Finally, BP has announced it will distribute $20 Billion to SMALL PEOPLE. 

In a related item, there has been another incident at City Hall as PLANET WASHINGTON’S Ken Rynne and accompanist Frank Plumer  tried  to legally change their corporate name to “The Lollipop Guild”  (music)  

[Paul Williams too dated.  Gary Coleman too soon.]

Parodies

Charity Begins @ Home

Sweet Charity.  Two of the World’s Richest Men Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and billionaire investor Warren Buffett Are Calling For The Rich To Donate Half Their Earnings To Worthy Charities.  Isn’t that great?  (My boys are pictured here kickin it. WB: “Who wants to be a billionaire?”  BG: “Ha Ha Ha – funnier ev’ry time.”)

In a related item, today there was a commotion at City Hall as PLANET WASHINGTON’s Ken Rynne  tried to legally change his name to “Worth E. Charity” 

cc: Wyl. E. Coyote


Parodies

"Ask not what your country can do for BP"

President Obama Invokes JFK Space Challenge 

President Obama gave his first Oval Office address to the nation last night.  About the BP Oil Spill – our worst environmental disaster since, well, … the Reagan Administration.   Aides invoked memories of FDR after Pearl Harbor      and JFK’s launch of the space program after Sputnik.

But critics say his speech fell flat – paraphrasing JFK’s rallying speech:

“I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of stopping the BP oil leak and returning the ocean safely to earth.”  

That will undoubtedly appear in the upcoming Obama biography Volume 7: “Profiles in Caution”

(I know – that WAS pretty “audacious” of me)


Funny Stuff

“Ask not what your country can do for BP”

President Obama Invokes JFK Space Challenge 

President Obama gave his first Oval Office address to the nation last night.  About the BP Oil Spill – our worst environmental disaster since, well, … the Reagan Administration.   Aides invoked memories of FDR after Pearl Harbor      and JFK’s launch of the space program after Sputnik.

But critics say his speech fell flat – paraphrasing JFK’s rallying speech: 

“I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of stopping the BP oil leak and returning the ocean safely to earth.”  

That will undoubtedly appear in the upcoming Obama biography Volume 7: “Profiles in Caution”  

(I know – that WAS pretty “audacious” of me)

 

Rave Reviews

USA Today loves us!

USA TODAY called me a “cabaret performer” in its excellent 6/14 review of Kerry Hannon’s “What’s Next? Follow Your Passion And Find Your Dream Job” (Chronicle Books) (Cabaret? Think Joel not Liza).

Congratulations to Kerry Hannon on a great book launch!  and a great Book!  especially Chapter 16!

Radio Interview with Kerry:

Appearances Rave Reviews

New Comcast Cable Show: RED ZONE POLITICS with guest Planet Washington's Ken Rynne …………(like a McLaughlin Group for Gen-Xers)

Watch for Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne on RED ZONE POLITICS’ premiere show on Comcast in Fairfax County, VA. Funny, Savvy, & Entertaining – the other guests good too.

Audience Reactions TV

New Comcast Cable Show: RED ZONE POLITICS with guest Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne …………(like a McLaughlin Group for Gen-Xers)

Watch for Planet Washington’s Ken Rynne on RED ZONE POLITICS’ premiere show on Comcast in Fairfax County, VA. Funny, Savvy, & Entertaining – the other guests good too.